A Few of my Favorite Things

I hate to give you a visual you may not want floating around your head on a Friday evening but I get the most creative inspiration when I’m sitting on the toilet *hey at least I admit it!!* Last night I came up with the most genius post to share with my lovelies and today my old lady mind has completely lost it. It was witty and spectacular and I have no idea what it was about. Sor-ry! *did you hear the sarcasm in that phony apology?* So now you’ll just have to settle for a Favorite Things post.

Yesterday I had my usual date with Aimee and we went to Target, breaking news, right? I wanted this plate for Olivia I saw online but I couldn’t find it in store.

Noone likes divorce….EXCEPT Jack White & Karen Elson!

After 5 years of marriage and 2 kids they are throwing in the towel in style. I can’t tell you how awesome these 2 are, especially in Hollywood. No fight over money, sordid affairs or sex tapes, like, yawn. No in all seriousness, this is a cool attitude to have for the sake of their kiddies.

You know what…I can’t focus on this post and I’m going to come clean. Today I had my very first difficult day with Olivia. It’s really only been the last hour before Antz gets off of work but I am in tears. We have had such a great routine, she take 2 naps per day, she eats like a champ and we really enjoy each others company. However today she decided was the day she was going to try out a full-blown tantrum. I was changing her diaper and she was not going to lay down like a good girl. She is walking *practically running* now so she tries to stand on everything *our bed, the couch and now her changing table* of course I strap her down so she won’t fall off but she was going nuts. kicking, screaming even biting me. I couldn’t believe it. What happened to my baby? Where did she pick up on this fight instinct. I was putting her shorts back on after somehow changing her diaper amidst her spazzing out when she threw the shorts behind her crib *the changing table is on top of her crib remember?*

Okay, deep breaths, I kept a calm tone, I wanted to lose my temper because she was being overly dramatic *unfortunately she gets that from me* so I calmly pulled back the crib and grabbed the shorts. As I pushed the crib back I managed to smash my finger on the changing table. *OUCH, FUCK* shrieked my brain, while I said “Oh gosh” aloud. Liv was crying, I was crying. I let her out of her changing table and she took off to somehow find superhuman strength to open the cabinet in the bathroom and proceeded to pull out all my magazines. This was in the 4 seconds it took me to clean up her diaper change. Ugh, okay, cleaned that up. Then she thought it would be hilarious to pull the blanket *I actually folded* off the bed. As I’m refolding the blanket, she runs off with my converse *she has a thing for shoes*. At this point, I am chanting Buddhist prayers and taking deep breaths. My lovely, charming infant is now a *cue Horror music* t-t-t-toddler! Egads, I had a migraine like you couldn’t believe. I had to ask Antz to leave work as soon as possible to take over for me because I was at my breaking point. Now, I don’t pride myself in complaining about my stay at home Mom status, but today was TOUGH! I take my hat off to anyone who can do the same with more than one child but if another person asks me when will I have another kid I just may spit directly in their eye.

*Conclusion of rant*

UPDATE: Hubby came home, by then I nursed Liv to sleep so she was, of course, her cheerful self again. Antz came home and we headed off to the Monrovia farmers market.

I now know why the Stepford wives drank.