As I am 11 days away from our 11th wedding anniversary, I am reflecting on how amazing, fun, blissful, difficult and fulfilling these married years have been.
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| This was taken on our beach in Malibu a few months before we got married. |
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| This was a few months after we bought our house in 2006. |
We love each other passionately and genuinely care about one another. We also have fights, stupid ones that are ridiculous and long drawn out ones that are miserable *FACT: every married couple fights, even Kate & William!* I think what has helped our relationship withstand 17 years together are several key components. We were extremely young when we started dating *I was 19 and Antz just turned 21* so we basically grew up together. We began our adulthood as a couple of naive kids so we were able to experience college, the beginning of our careers, traveling together, getting our first apartment, buying cars, paying bills, and learning how to be adults together. We approach life with a sense of humor. We are immature on the inside and we don’t take ourselves too seriously. *insert fart joke here* We also trust each other implicitly. It can be hard to be completely honest and deal with another person’s feelings but we have to let each other know when there’s food stuck in their teeth, you know? That’s the secret to our success, and not being too afraid to tell the truth because we are afraid of the others reaction. If you trust your partner, you can confront issues without worrying about a backlash or resentment. I’m no expert *well duh* but it took trial and error, therapy and years of struggle to get to where we are now.
Happiness, sadness, anger, joy, passion, selfishness, sacrifice, hurt,
hopefulness, gratefulness, thoughtlessness, motivation and despair are
all equally valid emotions when you love someone. Another great piece of advice I could give anyone is follow the give-take rule. For example our give-take is I do 99% of the driving but Antz does 99% of the cooking. He allows me to control the telly remote and I leave the ceiling fan on for him at night. You have to tolerate some idiosyncrasies in a marriage that may drive you mad *cleaning his ears with q-tips addiction* but keep in mind, you may have something just as annoying *my online shopping addiction* so try to keep things balanced. It’s easier to be forgiving when someone is tolerant of your own shortcomings like my whining, complaining, impatience, selfishness…I could go on and on, hopefully you get my point.
I don’t know how I was so lucky to marry a guy as awesome as Anthony. He came into my life for a reason at the perfect time. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. Our relationship is like when you get two rainbow sprinkle chocolate balls together while playing candy crush. He has always set the bar high for being an amazing husband, he always finds ways to surprise me and he still gives me butterflies in my stomach when we kiss. Corny I know but he is fucking rad!
Two of my favorite films that are so incredible truthful and poignant about relationships are Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Anniversary Party.
Jennifer Jason Leigh and Alan Cumming directed, wrote and starred in The Anniversary Party. They only had 19 days to shoot it, and it feels more like a play than a film, but the subject matter, the writing and the acting is amazing. The cast is incredible, Jennifer Beals, Parker Posey, John C. Reilly, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jane Adams *she’s in both films* Real life married couple Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates are playing a married couple and their real life children are playing their children. If you haven’t seen either of these, I insist you do! I have experienced every emotion *well almost every, since infidelity has never been an issue for us* that is portrayed in these films. I know it may seem silly to compare real life to a movie but these characters are so relatable about showing the complexities of real relationships. I adore the cast of both films. Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey play an astonishingly authentic couple. I was shocked they didn’t get Oscars for their acting because I fucking cried my ass off when I first saw it. Michel Gondry is a brilliant director but I’m sure most of your may have never heard of him. He is French and has the greatest imagination in film making. He started directing music videos for *Björk, Cibo Matto, Daft Punk & Beck* and he directed The Science of Sleep which is also a great movie about love.
So that was my weird tangent about marriage, we are celebrating our 11 years happily married and two movie reviews to boot. While I’m at it, The Pie Hole is the yummiest place in Los Angeles, hands down.
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| I had the chocolate crostata pie with sea salt caramel crust for breakfast, HEAVEN! |
Happy Wednesday!!
Let me know what you think about those movies.