Our Life in Paris: 5 Years Abroad

Can you believe it’s been FIVE years since we packed our 14 pieces of luggage and took our one-way flight to Paris, France?! I truly thought we would only be abroad for 14 months, max. Funny how life throws us for a loop but we are still pinching ourselves have made a life in this magical city. 

Five years ago, Liv was only 7 years old and now she is as tall as us at 12!

I must say, there are things that we still aren’t completely used to yet. There has been major greves (strikes) throughout the city due to President Macron pushing the age limit for retirement up from 62 to 64. Millions of people have protested and this coming Tuesday is supposed to be a 100% strike which we haven’t experienced yet. We are stocking up since almost all businesses are going to be closed. I will say, I commend the French people for coming together in solidarity for causes they believe in. I wish Americans would protest in the millions against the insane gun violence happening there. That is one of our biggest reliefs about leaving the States. Our daughter doesn’t have that kind of threat/trauma to endure. Her school is already extremely secure, the way they build buildings here, it feels like a fortress. There are only two entrance and exits and they will not allow anyone in without being vetted first. When I go to pick Olivia up from school early, I have to wait outside the building and a supervisor brings her out. The campus is strictly off-limits without an appointment. The layout of schools in Paris often don’t have outside spaces that is facing the public street as a safety measure. Most of Paris has armed soldiers that patrol the streets. Someone messaged me on Instagram recently asking what the school life is like for us so I’m going to give you a run-down of our middler schooler experience in Paris. 

School Life & Curriculum

Her school is a combination of middle school (6th grade – 8th grade) which is called college and high school. The middle school kids pretty much have their own entrance and section of the school. They have their own cafeteria, and they don’t interact with the older kids. The high school kids go to le lycée (the larger portion of the campus) and for no reason other than to confuse me, they begin to count down after 6th grade. So Liv is a 7th grader in the US but here she’s in 5eme. The French count down each school year; La quatrième (4eme), Troisième (3ème), Seconde (2nde), Première (1ère). The senior year is called Terminale/Tle. There isn’t a large amount of standardized testing in France. The students do take an exam at the end of middle school called le brevet. High school students prepare for their diploma by taking an exam called Baccalauréat général (often called Le Bac). School is only compulsory until age 16, students can choose to take a CAP or Baccalauréat technologique course. All Students are enrolled in school based on the year they are born and not how old they are in September. This means most of the kids are the same age in their class. Schools are assigned based on where you live just like in the US. We requested a special exception to enroll Liv in her elementary school because we didn’t have our lease for our apartment when we first moved here and I had to put up a major fight to get her into the school we wanted. We always assumed she would go to the high school next door to her elementary school but because of where we live she was assigned another school that we were not too impressed with but only around the corner from our apartment. Liv is enrolled in a special English program called Section International (SI). This is her second year in the SI program and her class is the first one at her school. There are other schools in Paris with SI programs but they are pretty far from our house. If you meet the English criteria for the program, you have to request an exception to attend that school with the school district. There are only 21 students in her class and they must pass a written and oral English exam to participate. This is so important to us because Liv attended a French/English curriculum in Los Angeles so we feel relieved she can maintain her English in a smaller class size. For her first year in the SI program, there were some huge stumbling blocks because the program was just being established and they didn’t have a full-time English teacher available. This meant Liv spent a couple of hours per week in an English class for French speakers. I thought she could take advantage of an easy class however, her teacher wouldn’t allow the English speaking kids to work on other projects during that time and she wasn’t a native English-speaking teacher so she would make many grammatical and oral mistakes. Needless to say, this year there is a full-time English teacher (from Britian!) and they have Geography/History class in English as well. Liv’s schedule is pretty tight. Most days of the week she starts a little after 8am, then there’s some days she starts after 9am. She has a longer day than the non-SI students because of the extra English class so she doesn’t get out of school until almost 6pm! Don’t feel too bad for her, on Wednesdays they get out early and everyday she gets a 90 minute lunch with 5 course meals. The school year begins the first week of September and ends the first week of July. This sounds like a long school year but they get two weeks of vacation nearly every six weeks. So she ends up with 56 days off of school not including summer break. When I asked Liv what is she excited about most this year, she said  she got a locker inside the building the 9th grader kids use. Most of the middle school kids have lockers outside but because many of them are damaged, Liv requested one inside so now she has a cool locker she shares with her best friends. I told her she should decorate it and now all the kids want to decorate theirs. Yeah, I may not be able to help my kid with her French homework but I can make sure she has the most American Gilmore Girls aesthetic locker at the school… I’m nailing this parenting thing!

Teachers and Grading

Liv’s report card translated by Google (the column to the right is her final grade)

One of the things we gained from the pandemic is France finally shifting to digital communication and access to Liv’s assignments online. Prior to this all school communication was handled through a notebook called a Cahier des Coorespondance which was frustrating to use. The school now has an app for the students and one for the parents. We log-in and can see her daily schedule, which is a life-saver because we can see in advance if her teachers will be absent. They also upload her grades from her tests directly to the app and we can send messages to her teachers. There is no traditional A – F grading system in France. Here, it’s best out of 20. It blew my mind that getting a 20 grade is nearly impossible but after 2 years in this new school, I see that the teachers are not giving up anything higher than an 18 easily. Liv has 70% of her classes in French and those are a bit challenging for her because French is not her native language and she sometimes gets lost in the context. There isn’t much of an incentive for the students to do well academically. The teachers have openly mocked and make fun of the students not necessarily out of meanness, it’s just culturally accepted here. There’s no Dean’s List, no awards or certificates for excellence. Students can graduate with an honor called une mention (honors of the jury) but those are often for students applying to Ivy League schools. The school’s concept of academia is pretty much, you are either doing well or you are an absolute moron, there’s no in-between! Liv tells us so many horror stories of teachers bullying the students but it’s remarkable how academically mature these kids are. They are really happy to be nerdy, they read 1000% more than they watch TV. In Olivia’s experience her teachers (professeurs) are commonly strict, they speak at a speed that can be difficult to keep up with and they are (for lack of a better word) eccentric. They believe that students should be seen not heard. They believe in collective punishment (to Liv’s detriment) and there is a system called Croix. Croix (crosses) are what we called strikes, if you get 3, you automatically get detention. During Liv’s 2 years in middle school she has been the only student in her class to not get detention thus far and she is determined to keep it that way. She has seen The Breakfast Club so she is always curiously asking me what is American detention like. She came close to getting detention once because her teacher mistakenly marked her as late for class once but she was able to get it removed. However, she loves her two English and her PE teachers. It’s pretty much night and day for her in those classes. We agree it’s mostly because the English teachers are from England and her sports teacher is much younger than her other teachers.

Even though the school has an indoor gym, and has tons of outside space, her class gets to take a charter bus to a nearby park for their physical education class. The first month of this class they played ultimate Frisbee! I used to pick up Liv from school on her ballet days so I have met most of her classmates. It’s sublime that we can finally speak to her friends and their parents in English! We are included in a parents group chat on Whats App and we are in the process of creating a Parents Association similar to what the other schools in Paris with an English section have. I don’t volunteer at her current school at all, which is mostly due to the campus being restricted and there isn’t many activities that are open for the parents to participate in. Every now and then they have ceremonies for war holidays and the student choir will sing, or they have a class movie night. The last movie Liv attended was by one of my favorite French directors, Michel Gondry. The film was Be Kind, Rewind which is super cute! The funny thing about parenting an American child at a French school is, we don’t really have a clue of what’s going on half the time. The school app has been helpful, but it is in French (we use Google translate) and we are learning all this as we go. When we encounter an issue, I reach out to my expat friends or google as much as possible. So far, I have found great advice and support in our parent group chat. Liv’s class trip to London has been postponed until next year due to the retirement strikes so this year her class is taking a 3 day trip to Normandy. She is looking forward to returning to the Caen Memorial museum since our visit in 2020 was rushed because we arrived 45 minutes before they closed.

After-School Activities

Most of the kids in her class participate in after-school activities that take place at the school. There is basketball, violin, guitar, dancing, chess, fencing and many others. It blows my mind that the school offers FREE extra-curricular activities because we used to pay a pretty penny in LA. We do pay for Liv’s ballet classes but it’s through the city and the rate is based on our tax bracket. The cost of her ballet is miniscule compared to the tuition and random fees we used to pay in LA. So twice a week Liv goes to ballet after school. Some days she only has an hour to come home, have a snack, change into her ballet clothes and put her hair in a bun (never an easy feat) and get to class in time. Somehow we manage but we love Wednesday afternoons because she’s home from school early. We usually have a long lunch together, she can take her time getting ready and she can chill before going to class in the evening. This schedule is not typical for other French kids, they get out at 4:30. There’s a girl in Liv’s class who does horseback riding and tennis outside of Paris. Many of the girls in Liv’s class tried to recruit her on the basketball team but she’s not interested at all. We tried for weeks to find a volleyball team but the ones for her age group were too far from us and didn’t fit her schedule. We’ve grown accostumed to Liv coming home during the day for lunch due to the frequency of her teachers striking or being absent. They don’t have an English substitute teacher and if another teacher is absent the class usually is sent to study hall. She is always happy when she can leave school before dark. I was pretty surprised to find out the kids don’t have any formal soccer teams. They also don’t have any typical American high school sports teams or clubs. As I mentioned before, they do have a basketball team, but they really just mess around, they don’t play against other schools or even have games with an audience. There’s no football team, no cheerleaders, no band, no glee club, nothing you would see in a John Hughes movie. The sad thing for me is Liv missing out on yearbook and not going to dances. This year the students begin their third language and Liv chose Japanese. She said the class is harder than she anticipated but she is enthusiastic to learn. Other languages offered at her school is English (for the French kids), Spanish, Arab, and Latin. They do have art and technology classes and choir during school. The school does occasionally put on an art gallery show for the older students. The parents of the Sectional International kids were invited last year because the seniors wanted to practice their English skills with us. It was so bizarre seeing these students compared to how we see students in the US. These kids were extremely serious and most of the ones we spoke with were very focused on what they wanted to do once they graduated. They don’t have any graduation ceremonies nor a prom 🙁 Liv says only recently the older students have started a formal ball but it was cancelled for the last two years due to Covid. Sometimes, I get a little sad that Liv will miss out on so many social activities when I see her old classmates in Los Angeles going to their first dance. I told Liv she needs to start banding her SI class together to have a prom by the time they graduate. She is more interested in having a Grad Night at Disneyland Paris since I told her about mine at Disneyland in California. Liv spends the rest of her free time going on dates with her friends, working on her Twitch channel and watching her favorite movies (at the moment it’s Scott Pilgrim vs the World and The Craft).

What’s University life like?

Most of the universities tuition are government subsidized for citizens and even quite affordable for foreign students. Antz took Olivia to an open house for the art school in Paris she is considering and we were pleased to find out the tuition for 4 years is how much most students would pay annually in the US.

I don’t have tons of insight on university life in Paris however based on the little info I’ve gathered, there’s no dorms, no stuff like student body government, yearbooks or college party life. Yes, kids go to bars (happy hour is very popular in Paris) and clubs but it’s not the keg stands or Greek life atmosphere like we are used to. The trade-off works for the three of us. Liv is practically a Puritan. She has informed us that smoking is dumb and she only likes white wine. There’s a cute bar on our street that we sometimes order food from and they have a trivia night that is spoken in both French and English. Liv said she would like to join something similar to that when she’s old enough. The legal drinking age is 18 in France and that was recently raised from 16! 

So What else is New?

We’ve had so many highs and lows in the past year. Our best news is we have made it this long without any of us getting the Covie!

I really think that masking and not being as social in-person as we used to be has really worked. I don’t go anywhere in crowds without a mask. We have continued to travel during almost every school break. It would take another five years just to catch up with all our trips but I have posted all the details in my highlights on my Instagram (hope you follow me over there). Anthony and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last August with a family trip to Morocco. I promise to make a separate post about our trip because it was epic! If you want to see some of the photos now, click here. After a fun Mommy/Daughter trip to Berlin, Lufthansa airlines lost my carry-on bag and that whole experience was traumatic for me. I finally got compensated several months later (after publicly shaming the airline) but I lost my Insta camera, some of Liv’s favorite jewelry and some items that meant a lot to me. Another terribly sad event happened last year, our beloved cat Lola got sick and we discovered that her kidneys were failing and after being in our lives for 15 years, she passed away. It was hard for all of us, however we know we had such a long, happy time with her. We had her cremated and I bought an urn necklace for Liv to carry her ashes in.

Five months later Antz found a sweet calico kitten online to adopt from an animal shelter in central France. Liv and I took a 2 hour train ride to the town of Angoulême (the town Wes Anderson filmed the French Dispatch). Then I rented a car and drove another hour to the tiny village to pick up our new family member.

Say Bonjour to Éloïse von Toast, her nickname is Ella and she was 9 months old when we adopted her. Olivia has always wanted a calico cat. She has the same black spot on her nose as Lola did so we know she was meant to be ours.

She was described as playful, gets along with kids and perfect for an apartment in her online listing. This cat is terrific but also has the energy of ten cats! She gets the zoomies like she’s on drugs. She loves to run laps around our apartment at top speed in the middle of the night. We bought her all the toys, a cool mushroom scratcher and even a bed that looks like a piece of toast and she completely ignores them. Her favorite toy to play with is a hair tie. After she began scratching our furniture, I bought her a boring plain brown scratcher that she loves and she prefers sleeping on the rug in our bathroom. Liv likes to carry her in a sling when we go out and she usually falls right asleep. We are working on training her to use her harness. She’s so cute our hearts are exploding for this floof! 

Ella has been a wonderful addition to our family and we feel a little bit more French with our petite choupette.

We have some exciting trips planned this year. Liv and I are taking a weekend trip to London to celebrate my birthday this month. Antz is staying home to babysit with Ella. We were super happy to pick up our 4 year passport talente visas, what a relief! Antz and I are pretty much still A-level in our French however, we have mastered a few useful sentences that really help us communicate. I know, nous devrions pratiquer plus!

Today we took some photos at the place where it all started, our local town hall (Mairie) and then we had lunch at our favorite place, Cafe Charlot. It’s Paris Fashion Week so of course the cafe was full of fashionable people. Liv has taken up knitting so you will always find her with needles in her hands these days. She’s getting really good and I’m going to commisson her to make me a bonnet with horns!

So, that pretty much wraps up our five year update. I am happy to answer any questions in the comments or if you follow me on Instagram, I have Ask an Expat and Expat Life highlights saved that you can always access.

Merci for following along on this journey with our family and a bientôt! 

Expat Life: Three years in Paris

Bonjour mes amis,

It’s the truest saying that time flies when you’re having fun, well three years has passed in a blink of an eye so here’s our annual expat update.

To be honest I have had the worst case of writer’s block imaginable. Ever since the first quarantine that began three days before my birthday in March 2020, I have been pretty depressed (as much of the world, I’m sure). Without being able to travel, most restaurants are closed and we have no idea when we will get our vaccines, we have been staying home as much as humanely possible. Olivia has been handling this limited lifestyle like a champ (her attitude is much better than mine). She now has ballet class via Zoom and plays video games with her friends online.

We are currently in our third (semi) lockdown in Paris. This means only essential shops are open, schools and workplaces are still open and there is a citywide 7pm curfew. You still need an attestation (permission slip) to travel outside the house. The government has allowed up to 10km for exercise but due to the warmer weather and longer days many Parisians are spending more time outdoors despite France’s Covid numbers remaining alarmingly high.

My second birthday in lockdown!

Our family has been inside our apartment since my birthday (my 4th 40th was last Saturday) for no reason other than we are playing it safe. January 2020 we officially were granted the privilege of paying a whooping 22% of Antz income into the French social system (medical, retirement and social charges) but we still haven’t received our medical cards. Which puts us in a vulnerable situation if any of us get sick. We have been trying to get our cards but the insurance office has been excruciatingly slow. Thus far only people over the age of 70 are eligible to get a vaccine and President Macron just suspended the AstraZeneca vaccine so we have no idea when we will get the shot. The US is finally gaining traction on getting everyone vaccinated at record speed (thanks to President Biden) but sadly now that more American states are lifting lockdowns and relaxing mask usage, there has an uptick in Asian American/Pacific Islander hate crimes and mass gun shootings. Sigh, lame white supremacy is thriving more than the virus.

Thank goodness we live in a golden age of filters

After what felt like the longest, weirdest year of our lives, we finally got some snow that I was secretly wishing for. It’s still fun for us Californians to wake up to falling snow. We can’t be the only ones because many people were outside playing in the snow with us.

Last night I rebooked our planned trip to Copenhagen for the fourth time and now I’m optimistically hoping to go in spring 2022. Que sera, sera. I wish the US government would extend everyone’s passport for an extra year since we haven’t been able to travel.

I don’t have much to update you on other than an entire year of puzzles, going viral on TikTok and baking more banana bread than I ever want to eat, I’ll share a story that happened a short time ago.

We survived a fire in our building!

You guys, it was so scary but also felt like we were in a movie. I was awake around 1:45 am (thank you, insomnia) when I heard a commotion upstairs in our building’s hallway. This is pretty frequent occurrence because there are some young neighbors who throw house parties that get a little rowdy late at night. This sounded like many people falling on the ground so I went to our door’s peephole to see if someone fell down the stairs. I saw the hall light was on so I opened the door just as I heard our neighbor saying “They don’t speak French.” she looked at me and said “There is a fire!” I immediately woke up Antz and told him the building is on fire! I woke up Liv and she immediately started crying and asking where’s Lola? I was running around the apartment while throwing on my coat screaming put on your coats and slippers. I grabbed our bag of passports and my backpack and threw in my laptop. I couldn’t think because my heart was in my throat. I didn’t know how bad the fire was at first but I smelled the smoke and started to see red embers from above our stairway. Antz tried to put Lola in her carrier but it wasn’t zipped so she just walked right out the other side so I gave him my backpack and took Lola. By the time we made it out our door (this all happened in less than a minute) there was a ton of people in our tiny stairwell. I couldn’t see what was blocking everyone but I also saw something falling in the hallway so we squeezed pass some slow moving folks. Then we saw some guys holding the ends of a blanket that was carrying the elderly woman who lives above us and were struggling to get her downstairs BECAUSE SHE WAS NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN!) I pulled Liv into my coat and they told us to go ahead past them. Antz offered to help but there was no room and they shouted in French to just go. I saw one guy in nothing but his underwear and sneakers. By the time we got to the ground floor I was able to get a sense of how many people were in our building. This was the middle of the night on Sunday morning so our street was deadly silent. I ran across the street with Liv and Lola and sat on the curb trying to catch my breath and calm Liv down. She was upset but also incredibly astute given the circumstance. Antz was hanging out in our lobby trying to offer help or see if anyone else was coming down. Liv started to panic that the building would collapse so he came outside. It took about 10 minutes before the fire truck arrived and I just sat on that icy curb holding Lola and Liv in my lap praying the rosary over and over while crying. It was surreal. I knew we had renter’s insurance but I wasn’t prepared to lose everything we owned. Liv kept crying and laughing saying how lame it would be to lose her newly-started manga (Japanese comic books) collection. Lola was surprisingly calm and didn’t try to escape my grasp. I was trying to offer whatever I could to some of my unfortunate neighbors, one who was heavily pregnant and barefoot in the 30 degree weather. I am lucky I keep my gloves, a scarf and water bottle in my bag. Our immediate neighbors who we are close with happened to be away on vacation so I left him a voicemail letting him know what happened. Turns out the pregnant woman is married to a fireman and he was the one who knocked on everyone’s door and got the firemen so quickly. She told us he was supposed to work that night, I was so grateful he was there with us (guardian angel). When the trucks arrived, they moved us into an apartment lobby across the street. We couldn’t tell if the bright glow from our apartment windows was the fire or Liv’s colorful nightlight. We waited in the lobby for about an hour when the police came and took everyone’s keys so they could check our apartments. Based on Olivia’s translation, the fire started by the elderly woman leaving a candle unattended. Her caretaker/nurse was fully dressed but barefoot (we asked Liv to translate what she was saying but Liv said everything she said sounded like gibberish). The elderly woman has terrible dementia so the fact that the caretaker didn’t notice the candle had me fuming.

After what felt like forever the firemen told us we were being moved to a hotel nearby. We all walked around the corner, my family all had our coats and our slippers but I don’t know how the other neighbors walked in pajamas with no coats, in socks and some barefoot on the filthy and wet ground!

Firemen gave us masks while were stuck in the dark hotel lobby for hours with no idea how our building was. Fortunately for us, we met a few of our English speaking young neighbors and said hello to some of the quieter ones that I’ve never seen before. Turns out the pregnant lady had her cat in a carrier box, she found some socks and her husband got her a coat too. One of our neighbors (who reeked of cigarette smoke) told Liv his two kitties hid under the bed and he couldn’t reach them. I took some random photos during the ordeal but they were all blurry because my hands were shaking so hard. Afterward I posted an Instagram video on my account when I was finally able to compose myself. I talk about the neighbor who lives upstairs in more detail and incoherently ramble while my adrenaline wears off.

Lola the grumpy cat has never behaved so well in her life, she was literally hugging me the whole time. This was our first encounter with a fire other than the wildfires in California which never were a direct threat to us. By 5 am the firemen finally told us we could go back into our apartments. Hooray! When you get that close to possibly losing your life’s possessions you start reflecting hard. When we were fleeing this dangerous situation, I thought, it’s just stuff but I was also regretting not grabbing Liv’s baby shoes (right there on my shelf) Antz getting his work laptop, and Liv was devastated thinking about losing all her stuff, it’s heartbreaking. Our tiny Parisian apartment has become the epicenter of our entire world and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing all the things we’ve collected over the years. Antz irreplaceable artwork and all my little keepsakes I’ve hoarded mean so much to me. I kept hugging my little family of four and reaffirming to myself, as long as we are safe, things will be fine.

The police drove us back to our building in their cool SUVs (our driver drove down the street backwards at a high speed as if we didn’t have enough adrenaline pumping that night) and tried their best to speak English to us. They assured us the building was safe and told us the firemen would return the next day to check the smoke levels. I was terrified our ceiling would collapse since the fire started right above our living room. We could see a huge pile of burnt wood on the sidewalk and the upstairs neighbor’s window was broken. The smoke wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it was too cold to sleep with the windows open. The damage wasn’t that bad other than the hallway carpets being soaked, the stairwell walls and floors were dirty and our mailbox door somehow ended up damaged. I was worried about our building’s tiny elevator but it just needed sweeping. Later we discovered our main door was broken so we can’t buzz people into our building again (see my last post about the door drama).

The firemen were super cute! I was blown away with how young they all were. When we got home we saw they had a table set up outside and they were drinking coffee (or wine?). They were pleased to find out we were Americans and they kept trying to speak to us in English. They measured our ceiling (definitely didn’t notice those sagging beams before) and we saw all the doors had codes written in chalk. Our elderly neighbor must have been taken to a hospital because she was taken away on a stretcher (with a blanket wrapped around her unclothed body!) and we haven’t seen or heard her again.

Now that we’ve been through that melodrama, I feel like veteran Parisians. The next day we washed and vacuumed everything in our place. I packed an emergency bag and Liv baked us a delightful cake for Valentine’s day. We were ecstatic to have a roof over our heads!

I finally got my visa renewed in February (Whoo-hoo!) and we are coming up on French tax season (d’oh!). We are going to try to take Liv to a park in northern Paris to see the cherry blossoms this weekend but I’ll have to confirm we are within our allowed 10 km. After a year of being quarantined, sadly we are kinda used to not going out and socializing. Liv and I are gamer/TikTok buddies so we are excited for all the new Animal Crossing New Horizons updates.

How has 2021 been for you so far? Any life-changing events? It’s so weird that I don’t have more to share but Covid has made everyone slow down and chill out on the hectic schedules we were so accustomed to. This has been my greatest achievement this year so far. We completed it in three days, a new record!

Au revoir!

What is the hardest part about living in Paris?

Bonjour,

You may be thinking my answer would be our struggle with the frustrating French bureaucracy? Nope, to be honest if you have all your paperwork in order and are 110% mentally prepared to deal with whatever type of drama they throw at you, you will be able to get what you need done. Additionally, we pay a fortune to have a lawyer accompany us to our appointments which takes most of the annoyance off our shoulders. Well then, it must be not being able to speak French, oui? After almost three years living here (in March 2021) we have gotten by fine with our basic French and lots of sign language. Most French people speak more English than they let on. Plus our ten year old translator has made things a piece of cake!

So what could be so hard about living in the prettiest, most sentimental city in the world?!

Something I completely took for granted when I lived in our home in Los Angeles…DELIVERIES!

I have been an avid online shopper since Amazon only sold books! I ordered everything from our weekly groceries, all our clothes, to Antz contacts online. I enjoyed the convenience, was able to hunt for great deals and I admit, nothing felt more satisfying than getting a package delivered. It totally feels like Christmas. Our house in Los Angeles had a locked gate so the delivery person had to ring our doorbell to deliver a package. This was how I received 75% of my packages. In the rare instance I wasn’t at home, they would just toss it over our fence (which was covered in ivy) in our front yard so the package was hidden and even though they tossed a few fragile items into our thorny rose bushes, we rarely lost a package. I have to say, nothing prepared me for how the delivery system worked functioned in Paris. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t!!

Our first two months in Paris we were staying at a temporary house swap so I wasn’t shopping online as often as I normally would. The few times I needed to order a package, we discovered that the post office wouldn’t leave packages unattended at our building if they didn’t fit inside the mailbox. So I would have to take the note the postperson left to the post office around the corner, then show my passport to pick up my package.

The apartment we were staying in was in a gated building on a private street so we didn’t encounter any issues with accessibility. We benefitted by getting friendly with our awesome next door neighbors who would take our packages for us if we weren’t home. The few times we had to pick up packages from La Poste was exciting for Liv and me (at first). Then, I started shopping online more regularly and instead of having to go to the post office, we had to go pick up our packages from shops in the neighborhood (in French a package is called a colis). These places were usually Mom and Pop businesses (like a shop that repairs cell phones or a print shop) that would hold packages as a side business. The shopkeepers we encountered were disorganized and slow. Most of the stores had erratic business hours so if we went after school to pick up at package at 4:30, they would already be closed for the day. The problems really started when I would get an email saying my package was attempted to be delivered but it wouldn’t say where, only saying it was delivered to a local business with no address. Thus began the package scavenger hunt. There was even a few times Antz and I had to make a long trek outside of Paris to the UPS distribution center to pick up my package even though there was no attempt to deliver to our address. Fed Ex packages were the easiest to pick up because there is a store in Opera that was a nice bus ride away and they have the best customer service and tracking system. However it’s the most expensive shipping option.

Then we moved into our apartment. We don’t have a concierge which is someone who handles issues of the building. So everything was a learning curve to figure out how to get our packages. It took several trips to the three post offices in our neighborhood to find out which one we were assigned to. Then we discovered that our packages were being delivered to the store on the street level of our building. We built a friendly rapport with the African couple who owned the business and the woman was nice enough to wave to us everyday. Sadly, last summer they closed the business and a new owner moved in that didn’t take packages (to our dismay) and even though they were just as friendly, we had no idea where our packages would end up. My Mom sent us a huge care package that cost me $100 to ship from LA. It took almost a month to arrive and tracking the package was a joke. The US Post office website said the package arrived in Paris customs but I couldn’t track the package beyond that. The package was no longer tracking from the USPS service once it arrived in France and La Poste did not have any record of where it was because it didn’t have a French tracking number. My Mom would ask me everyday for a month if the package had arrived. You guys, the frustration was at an all time high!

When I finally tracked down the package I was shocked to have to pay a huge import duty fee! My Mom didn’t know at the time but she declared an extremely high value of the items she shipped. She thought the higher the value the more insured it would be in case it was lost and that ended up costing me another $100 for maybe $40 worth of items. It got even worse when I shopped my first Black Friday online. I was thrilled to find my favorite US stores were now shipping to France, so I placed big orders since we were furnishing our new apartment. However I was not paying attention to detail during checkout and I seemed to overlook the disclosure that import duty fees were my responsibility. I was hit with over €300 in import fees when the packages finally arrived months later. There have even been a few occasions when the delivery person require a duty fee at our door in cash. A few times I had cash on me but if I didn’t have change, the delivery person would smugly keep the rest as an involuntary tip. Now I keep change in a bowl with our keys for deliveries.

So, you must be thinking, yeah Liz everyone has their own delivery horror story, it’s not as bad as you describe. Let me tell you the most recent tale of the lone yellow sneaker.

But first let me tell you about the evilest, most vile company to ever exist…Chronopost. Our first Christmas in our new Parisian apartment was festive, perfectly wintery and my most miserable time because of the stress stupid Chronopost put me through. I thought I had learned from my past shipping mistakes so I ordered most of my gifts online months before December. I even paid extra for insurance because I knew my packages had a tendency to disappear. This particular package I ordered from a shop in LA, only allowed priority shipping to guarantee it would arrive before Dec 15th. It cost me as much as the items in shipping but I was determined to get my package in time. Other packages began to arrive but this was still during the time we had no working interphone (the outdated phone that allows us to buzz people into our building) so when a delivery person rang our bell, we would have to throw on our shoes, and run downstairs before they left. I had a 79% success rate.

Yep, there goes one of my packages because our dumb interphone didn’t work and I missed them. The worst part was they never leave a note saying when they will return so I would have to wait days and hope I don’t miss them again. Once I missed a delivery and they shipped the package all they way back to my Mom in LA!! I ended up losing $60 in shipping costs and my understandably irritated Mom told she was going to stop sending us packages.

As you can tell, I was getting at my wits end with these packages. I continued to track the expensive package with Liv’s Christmas presents which was promised to arrive in early December (no later than Dec 15th). Around that same time France’s bus drivers and Metro staff decided to go on strike (La Grève during the holidays, perfect timing). For weeks public transportation came to a halt and so did most deliveries. La Poste has a company they outsource to deliver packages called dumb Chronopost. The delivery guys are (how can I put this delicately?) the worst at their job ever!! They obviously give zero fucks about their job and it shows. They don’t wear uniforms like La Poste employees do so it harder to spot them. They are so hard to deal with, even if you speak French it’s nearly impossible to get your package. They will leave your package with any random person and be like I delivered it. I am not joking, I have walked down our street and went into every single shop asking if they had my package. Ask any French person what do they think about Chronopost, I bet you $100 they will roll their eyes. So I see my package had arrived in Paris on-time but it was sitting in customs for a few days. Understandably, customs is like the mafia, they need their cut so they hold packages hostage until you pay a ransom but they release the package usually about a day or two. After Dec 15th came and went I started getting nervous so I asked Liv to call to see what’s the hold up. Guys, the Chronopost people on the phone yelled at us, hung up on us, literally asked me “What do you want us to do about it?” and I got into a screaming match with a horrible woman on the phone after she raised her voice at Liv. I was losing my mind because I spent so much money to make sure this package would arrive before Christmas and no one would help me get it. Finally one person took pity on me after days of abuse over the phone. She suggested I go to the distribution center and pick it up myself. Sure! Great idea, however there was a strike so I couldn’t take public transportation. I had to go to Gare Nord train station and find a taxi driver willing to drive me half an hour outside of Paris and back home. After frustrating negotiations I finally talked the driver down to €100 (insane but I was desperate) that I would pay upon our return home (I didn’t trust him to wait for us and I didn’t want to get stranded). In the taxi on our way there, the Chronopost person called me to tell me my package may not be at the location after all. I was only a few blocks from the train station so I explained to the driver the trip is cancelled. He pulled over and locked the doors and said “€100!” in French. Olivia and I were pretty much being kidnapped in this taxi driver’s smelly car until we paid him. I was raging internally but I politely explained, he only drove us 5 blocks and I wasn’t paying him €100. I tried to compromise and said I would give him €20 because of the inconvenience and it was all the cash I had on me. He called his boss and yelled into the phone while I called Antz and told him I’m probably going to be on the news that night if this fool wouldn’t let me out of the car. After arguing with his boss and himself for a long time he snatched the €20 out of my hand and let us out but can you see how absolutely livid I was at this point. I called Chronopost again as it was now three days before Christmas and that’s when I snapped. I threatened to sue, I asked to speak to everyone’s manager, I Karened like no Karen you have ever seen before. I was walking home during the call so Liv had to ask me to calm down because people were staring. Long story short, the lady on the phone rudely asked me “What you gonna do there is no way you will get it before Christmas?” and I just started crying. Liv had no idea why I was so upset because I couldn’t tell her it was her Christmas presents. The store that charged me the ridiculous shipping fee really felt bad about it but they shipped the item to France on time as promised and they had nothing to do with customs or Chronopost’s bullshit. So Christmas came and went without the package. I had other stuff for her to open on Christmas morning and she didn’t show any disappointment about the package finally arriving three days later. I learned a valuable lesson to never trust companies that say they will get a package to you in time overseas but I’m still raw about the whole ordeal.

My friend Leslie in LA has sent packages to me and most of the time it was surprisingly hassle-free! I really need that teacup. My sweet kid wearing her late Christmas gift (a kigurumi in Japanese) pajamas that she hasn’t taken off since last year! My spirits were lifted by the beautiful gift wrapping skills of my endlessly patient husband who has to hear the brunt of my rants. F-U Chronopost, you are trash!

So back to the story of the missing shoe! Last month I couldn’t help but do a little Black Friday shopping. I know, I’ll never stop putting myself through this drama. I had a credit with Madewell that was expiring soon and they were having such a huge sale, I decided to order some things for Antz and myself. Well, I knew if I shipped it directly to France it would take forever and cost me an arm and a leg so I decided to send it to my bff Aimee’s address. She got the package in LA and was able to send me some things I needed along with some stuff for Liv. I was feeling good about it because I knew I saved so much with the sale and Aimee shipping it, I was finally coming out ahead. Plus there was no pressure to get the package in a hurry. Well, one morning our doorbell rang which was strange because it wasn’t our building’s loud interphone buzzer that is from outside the building but the doorbell inside the building. Antz answered the door and it was our upstairs neighbor (who we never met before) with a package saying it was ours. This has never happened before but he accepted it and the neighbor left before we could inquire further. It was the box Aimee sent a few weeks earlier and it looked like this.

We have seen damaged boxes before but this one takes the cake. There was a bunch of stuff inside and luckily nothing was damaged however when Antz was taking everything out he noticed there was only one of my New Balance sneakers in the box. I told Aimee to just send the shoes without the shoebox so it would weigh less. Just like Cinderella, I took off downstairs hoping to find (not my Prince) but the Chronopost delivery guy while holding my one yellow sneaker. Of course, he was nowhere in sight (not like I could tell since they don’t wear uniforms) but I did bump into our postman so I tried to explain the story in my terrible French and showed him the shoe. He kindly made a call on his cell phone (it sounded like he was calling the delivery guy). He asked me to text the photo of the shoe to him along with my address which I did. He told me to go home and wait for the delivery guy to return. Hooray, I was feeling hopeful!

This was about three weeks ago and I’m still waiting to hear from the delivery guy. I know I will never find my lost shoe so I had to call (with Liv’s help) La Poste and file a claim (which I seriously doubt they will reimburse me). I guess I’m going to start a new mix & match sneaker trend with my lone shoe. I was more amused than upset about it and luckily I got the shoes on sale for $40 so it wasn’t that huge of a loss. I was more excited that my Hello Kitty mask survived in the destroyed box.

Aimee has been regularly sending us packages since we moved here. I jokingly call her my mule because when she comes to Paris to visit us, she brings an entire suitcase full of stuff from LA. She has been my Target shopper for things I can’t find anywhere in Europe (my particular deodorant brand, Liv’s multivitamins and seasoning Antz cooks with have been our top requests).

I have been fortunate enough to find items like my natural hair shampoo and conditioner at beauty supply shops near our apartment (even though they are much more expensive for smaller sized bottles). We also found a few American specialty stores in Paris. One of our favorite is called In Good We Trust located in le Marais where we shop for things like baking soda, cake mix and hard to find American grocery items.

I made a TikTok video about the shop that got over 11,000 views so the shop owner gave Liv a free gift (red velvet cake mix) for promoting his biz. BTW, Follow me on TikTok!!

In Good We Trust
67 Rue Quincampoix
75003 Paris

11:30am – 8pm (Closed Mondays)

We don’t buy ranch dressing but I know many expats who can’t live without it. About once a month we go to stock up on items but it’s quite expensive so we try to stick to necessities (no $14 cereal for Olivia!) There is another American shop on the Left Bank called The Real McCoy. We have gone there three times and it was only open once. They said they closed early due to the Yellow Jacket protests but I was annoyed they don’t stick to their listed hours.

As much as I am grateful for these type of shops I would love to help them out with their inventory because they often stock candy that is readily available in all Parisian grocery stores (Americans don’t just eat M&Ms). I would be elated if they carried Secret deodorant and Aveeno daily moisturizer so I wouldn’t have to ship it from the US.

The Real McCoy
194 Rue de Grenelle
75007 Paris

11am – 7pm (Closed Sunday/Monday)

There are some things I have yet to find in Paris even though folks insist are available. For instance, liquid vanilla extract. I was only able to find it in powder form but it tastes too grainy when I bake cookies. Speaking of baking, there is no baking soda or baking powder. I have tried to substitute with the French biocarbonate and it failed miserably. I am lucky that my amazing friend Leslie sends me a supply from Trader Joes and Japanese snacks for Liv!

There are somethings I can go without but Ziploc freezer bags isn’t one of them. I packed a bunch when we first moved here but we used them up right away so I had maybe five left to last us for months. I also couldn’t find scotch tape with a dispenser that actually worked. I bought a 10 pack from Amazon for double the price but French brand tape annoys me! These are the real issues expats face abroad (along with double tax returns, constantly adapting to a new culture, being thrown into a way of life that is often impatient and confusing).

Well, this has been theraputic. I always feel like I need to add the disclaimer that I am beyond lucky to live in this wonderful city with all it’s charm and faults. I would love the French to get their delivery system under control but as the song says…

Bonne soirée