Moving Abroad: Six Months

Oct 11, 2018

Salut!

Well, in the blink of an eye, we have lived in Paris for six months. We are at the halfway mark of our year abroad and those 183 days went by in a flash. 183 days is a significant number for our family because that happens to be the number of days Antz company has allowed him to work remotely. We discovered this just two weeks before our departure date last February. This added to our stress and anxiety but since we put in so much hard work to get approved for our visas, set up a home exchange, took Olivia out of her French school in LA, and we set everything up to be in Paris for an entire year, we just left not knowing what would happen with Antz job.

Let me explain what the 183 day rule is. There is a treaty with France and the US so that either country can collect income tax from residents living there past 183 days. So in our case, if Antz were to continue working past six months, he would have to start paying into France’s tax system (paying for social services, income tax, etc.) while also still paying income taxes in the US because he is employed by an American company. This article explains it better than I can. To me it sounds like double taxation but there is an exclusion up to the first $100,000 of income in the US. Which for us means he would pay 45% of his income in taxes in France but only 28% past $100,000 in the US. So basically 63% of his income would have gone to taxes for our 2019 tax return. This was not the best case scenario for us financially. Also, his company was not able to set him up as an international transfer employee on a work visa due to the high expenses to add him to European payroll. We even requested to have him work freelance as an independent consultant but that didn’t work either. So his company gave him two choices, return to the US in 183 days or separate from the company. He did both. It was the hardest choice to make, Antz has worked for this incredible company for over 18 years. He was at the top of his career as a Senior Art Director. His company had premium benefits, generous salary and bonus, 401k, profit sharing, traveling to industry events and parties, summer Fridays meant he had every other Friday off, and he worked with some amazing people. I can’t tell you how difficult the decision was. I mean, France is rad but it’s not perfect. We are renting here which feels unstable, but in LA we owned our house and we put so much work into making our house lovely. Every month I worry about the currency conversion which varies so much that sometimes we pay $150 – $200 more depending on the day I pay our rent. We are in the process of getting a French bank account but it is honestly a nightmare. There is also a language barrier that makes simple tasks challenging. Liv is a wonderful translator but even she can’t help with adult things like setting up our cell phone service or making an appointment to have the heat turned on in our apartment. There is crime here like any large city, and if I walk through certain parts of town alone, I feel vulnerable. I had a car in LA so I never had a guy follow me making lewd comments like here. Once I had to call Antz to meet me on our street because a guy wouldn’t leave me alone. There is terrorism here so when we walk in crowded spaces, I can’t help but feel tense or worry about large trucks driving by. There are more grumpy, rude people in customer service than I ever dealt with in LA. I recently tried to make an appointment over the phone but six out of ten people hung up on me when I asked if they spoke English. That is on me, I need to step my French up. I hate the constant smoking, I get I am in a foreign country but blowing smoke directly in my face is infuriating. I also have to deal with renewing our visas every six months which is a headache. However the benefits still outweigh the cons for us. Liv attends a wonderful French school that is only a ten minute walk away for FREE! This is our number one reason for being here. She is attending such a great school here, her French is impeccable and I love that she gets a hot lunch everyday in a cafeteria and after school activities are included in her daily curriculum. She gets a half day on Wednesdays so she can go to ballet, which frees up our weekends for travel. That is our other major reason to stay. Traveling here is so easy and affordable I can’t see going back to LA only to wait all year for Antz to get a few weeks off of work so we have to cram a vacation in a short time and spend half of our travel budget on a long flight from LA. We have traveled more in the last six months than we have in six years. My main goal is to visit 20 countries and they are all just a train ride or a short flight away. I also am looking forward to having actual weather!

Living in sunny Los Angeles for 40 years was nice, but we rarely had thunderstorms or more than a few days of cold enough weather to bundle up. I have never been in Europe during the fall so I am excited to wear coats and scarves. I am also excited for the lovely Christmas markets coming soon! Well, it’s not like I need to sell living in Paris, my point is moving here comes with huge sacrifice. The first was leaving his job but finding a new job here in Paris won’t be so easy. Everyone I know keeps telling us that French jobs do not pay well. So we had to have a back up plan to keep us going financially. We used most of our savings to move here in March and even though we are saving a lot by not paying tuition or a car payment, it’s still expensive living in Paris. In the end, we realized we weren’t happy in LA and that is most important to us. The bottom line is he made great money in LA but he was working long, stressful days and we only had weekends to spend time together. Most of his salary went towards our bills and tuition so even if he made less here in France, our expenses are less. We also spent all our time in our cars which caused our lifestyle to be toxic and unhealthy. Since moving here, we spend so much more quality time as a family (I am sure it’s mostly because we don’t have a TV!) and walking everywhere is pretty awesome. So, we agreed we would stay in Paris as long as possible!

So a month ago we decided to sell our house. It was heartbreaking to do but really I couldn’t think of any other options. Our tenant was only renting during the summer and she was paying $1,000 less than we listed it for because she was able to pay cash in advance. We couldn’t live here and not have a stable long-term renter in our house. There are also so many expenses of being a landlord which would have been difficult to handle from abroad. Since our house has increased in value recently, I met with our real estate agent who happened to be in Paris on vacation with her family to discuss the idea of selling. She was so positive about it we put together a plan just to see how things would work out. Antz was going to fly back to LA at the end of August due to the 183 days deadline being Sept 1st so we decided that if the house sold in a month, we would stay. If the house didn’t sell (my worst case scenario), I would pack up our apartment in Paris and return to LA with Liv. Thirty days is an insane timeline but our agent was confident we could do it. This meant that Antz had to begin the process of getting our cat Lola legally documented to travel to Europe. He had to take her to an USDA accredited vet for an exam and she needed an official microchip implanted. Then she needed a rabies shot and there was a 21 day mandatory waiting period. We had to keep the house furnished so it would be staged for the open houses. We had four dates scheduled and a deadline of Sept 17th to accept offers. I was super nervous because after two open houses we only received one offer for an insultingly low amount. In order for my crazy plan to work we had to get a magic number and I was sweating when the final day arrived. The offers slowly began to come in that afternoon. All of the offers were over our asking price but nothing was close to our magic number. The good news was since there were multiple offers we could counter everyone and ask for over our magic number. We only got one person to agree to our counter offer but we got a little over our magic number!! I had to go to the US Embassy to sign the escrow paperwork with an American notary. The visit was intense, many French guards were quite mean at the entrance. I had to go through several security check points and they took my phone and held it during my visit. I managed these shots before they confiscated my phone.

My poor husband had the daunting task of selling all the things we no longer needed, (we felt like we gave away most of our furniture for next to nothing but this was our cleansing period) cleaning out the house (he must have donated and thrown away one hundred bags) and garage of twelve years of overwhelming stuff in two freaking weeks! Then he had to pack up the house, move our stuff into storage at my Mom’s house and ship our remaining items to France in a storage cube.

Our entire lives worth of stuff had to fit in this 7 foot storage box. It will be shipped to France via boat and won’t arrive until January! I will lose my mind if my breakable stuff gets damaged.

I can’t tell you how stressful this was for Antz, all while he was still going to work everyday and dealing with Lola’s stuff. The sad part was we were apart for a month which seems short, but he missed Liv’s first day of school.

To add to our agony we discovered that Antz cell phone wouldn’t make calls in LA so we could only communicate by FaceTime calling on wifi and texts for thirty days. This guy wins at life. We both had our moments of doubt, frustration and sheer panic but he rose to the occasion physically and mentally in a way I never could. He was running on two hours of sleep by the end of the month. He also had to contend with flying back to Paris with our not so friendly cat Lola. I took two wise precautions for her flight. The first was ordering her these claw nibs (her pink fake nails) so she wouldn’t be able to scratch Antz or the carrier. The second was booking Antz in a premium economy seat on his flight with Air France. It was double their normal fare, but he had more room for Lola and fewer people around to disturb.

Anyone interested in flying a pet from the US to France? This is a long, tedious process and we didn’t have a day to spare to get everything done. The first step is taking your pet to an accredited USDA veterinarian. Our regular vet wasn’t accredited but there was one nearby that they recommended.

Los Feliz Small Animal Hospital
3166 Los Feliz Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90039
(323) 664-3309

I made our appointment online before Antz flew back to LA. The first day he returned he picked up Lola from my best friend Aimee (who was happy to say bye to our cranky feline) and he got her an official microchip inserted. Even if your pet has a microchip in case they get lost, this is a special chip that is registered with the US to track pets abroad. Then she had to wait a mandatory 21 days before getting a rabies shot. It’s important to know that even if your pet has been vaccinated for rabies (like Lola has) they must get another rabies shot 21 days after the microchip has been implanted. We were happy to find out Lola lost weight since her last appointment so she was just under the 8kg restriction. So this put our timeline right on schedule. I made an appointment with APHIS which has an office in Los Angeles to get Lola’s health certificate endorsed. You must make an appointment, no walk-ins.

Los Angeles Animal Import Center
222 Kansas Street
El Segundo, CA 90245

No pet can travel abroad on a commercial airline without this document (this doesn’t apply to service animals). If you have a dog, it is also mandatory to show a test for tapeworms and flea medication. There is the choice of flying with your pet in the cabin or the cargo. Air France said they only allowed pets up to 8 kg on board. Well 8 kg means 17.6 lbs and our chunky Lola was 18 lbs at her last vet visit! I am a member of a Expats in France group and I read many horror stories about pets in the cargo of airplanes so I was very worried about Lola’s flight. I was confused when it came to finding an airline approved carrier. If she was going in the cargo of the plane, she had to be in a hardshell crate with very specific measurements. However if she was flying in the cabin, she could travel in a soft-carrier but the measurements varied by airline. I ended up ordering this backpack carrier from Amazon. I knew with all the luggage Antz was bringing and having to carry Lola’s paperwork and his passport, it would be easier for him to be hands-free. I was so worried she wouldn’t fit comfortably in it but a week before his flight, the carrier arrived and he sent me this.

She fit snug as a bug and I also ordered these pet pads in case she had an accident. Antz was smarty pants to use a large safety pin to keep the pad in place when the carrier was upright.

I ordered a harness in case Lola tried to escape at anytime. Antz had to take her out of her carrier when going through security and he held her while they did a thorough check. Luckily, our vet gave him calming medicine to give her on the day of the flight. Antz had a couple of hiccups the week before his flight. He had an appointment with the APHIS to endorse Lola’s health certificate at 8:30 am. Because it was near LAX, he had to leave the house before 6 am to be on time. He was the first person there and when he went to pay the $38 dollar fee, they told him that the vet filled out the wrong form! Antz was livid. I never seen him so angry. Turns out the vet gave Antz the form for pets traveling in the cargo hold but Lola was going to be inside the cabin. At least they were sympathetic and allowed him to return the next day with the correct paperwork, or else we would have needed to make another appointment a month later. So this meant that Antz had to drive to the vet’s office, pick up the correct health certificate and drive out to El Segundo the next morning. This all took place during his last week he was working in his office so you can imagine his level of stress. Once he had the endorsed health certificate you have exactly ten days to leave the country. This is important that you already have your flight set up prior to getting all the forms completed. I booked his return flight only two weeks before his departure since we were waiting to make sure our house sold and he would be able to sign all the escrow paperwork before returning to France. Luckily, there were a few premium economy seats still available. I had to call the airline and let them know we were bringing a pet on-board and they charged us $150 fee at check-in at the airport. Most airlines only allow a few pets on-board so it’s a good idea to let them know in advance. The day of Antz flight home was crazy, remember, his phone didn’t work unless he was connected to wifi, so I was only able to hear from him if he was on Starbucks wifi. Terribly frustrating! Lola decided it would be fun to run outside on the morning of Antz flight. He had to ask our neighbors to come help look for her all morning while he was still packing and needed to take a shower before his ride to the airport showed up. We were down to a few hours before he found her under our neighbors house. He had to crawl under there to get her, merde!

My Mom flew to Paris a few days before Antz so I was hosting her all while he was going through the worst of the drama. It was wonderful to have her here as a distraction from all the stress. She has been amazingly supportive of our decision to stay abroad even though that means she will see us less.

Antz somehow managed to pack up and clean the house with the help of his sister and nephew (Merci Clinnie & Justin!). We sold as many pieces of furniture that didn’t fit in our shipping cube. We gifted special items (our plants, and items I couldn’t bear to sell) to our friends and family.

It’s a hard choice to leave the comforts of our home and move to a different country for such an uncertain future but we can always return. We left Antz Honda Element at my Mom’s house and we are renewing our visas in January. I hope this helps anyone thinking of making the move abroad. The past six months was a great test to see if we could make a life in France viable. It’s challenging, frustrating (more so because we don’t speak French yet) but rewarding beyond all expectations.

I am happy to answer any questions in the comments below.

Bisous.

Moving Abroad: Month Four

Jul 31, 2018

Well, as you can see I just skipped right over June into July for our monthly update. I can’t tell you how much we love living here, but nowhere is perfect so I will also let you know what isn’t working for me. We are finally settled into our apartment here in the lovely Marais. We live in the upper part of the 3rd arrondissement and feel like we are in a prime location. We have this beautiful view and it’s still unbelievable that we live here.

Now that summer is here we have been enjoying longer days. It’s weird to us Americans that the sun doesn’t begin to set until after 10 pm at night! Liv usually goes to bed at 9:30 pm and it’s still bright and lively outside. Liv’s last day of school was Friday and these three extra weeks of school have been killing me. I have so many trips planned and guests coming to visit that I couldn’t wait for her to be done with school. She started second grade in Los Angeles during the last week of August 2017 and she finished the first week of July 2018! I would say that’s too long but she missed almost three weeks in March so I’m happy for was able to make up the missed time.

I’m super bummed because her school director is retiring this year and we have already established a rapport with him. I am skeptical to meet his replacement. No one will replace my sweet Harry Potter looking Monsieur W. I have met several parents of Liv’s classmates and even volunteered for a school fête. Even though I didn’t understand anyone I was very popular because I was serving the rosé.

What you don’t see in this photo is when I ran out of “blue” juice for the kids and I already pre-poured Rosé for the parents, someone brought out “pink” juice for the kids and it was identical in color so I had to keep track of which cup had juice for kids and which had wine for adults. I mean, it is France so no one seemed to care if a kid had a sip of rosé. Much less uptight people.

Liv invited us to the most adorable recital. Her Grandmother would be so proud of her xylophone timing. How adorable is her music teacher?!

Liv has a close friend in her class who speaks English but she is moving to Canada. Her parents invited us to their Farewell picnic at Parc des Buttes-Chaumont.

We have met such fascinating people (many are journalists and writers) and most of them are expats! Our new friends have lived in Paris for more than ten years so they gave us invaluable advice for living abroad. We were welcomed into their group and we are looking forward to getting together with them soon for happy hour!

We are fortunate to live on a lively street and we’ve become accustomed to the late night noise (reminds me of late-night parties in Highland Park minus the ranchero music) however the cigarette smoke from the bar seems to rise up to our third floor and destroy my eyes. I know I am hyper sensitive but I can smell a cigarette a mile away and it’s sometimes hard to sleep! We don’t have a TV in our apartment so we watch Netflix and Hulu (Handmaids Tale is getting too close to reality!) on our iMac computer but we have been keeping up with this silly little thing called the World Cup by the cheering from the two restaurants on our street! ALLEZ LES BLEUS!!

We know absolutely nothing about soccer (or any sports) but I love supporting France.

So this is the longest I’ve gone without having an actual television with cable in my forty-one years and I must admit, I like not being a slave to the boob tube. It’s nice to not get caught up in the 24 hour CNN drama or spending idle hours watching reality/trash. The only reason we don’t have telly here is our apartment manager promised to hook up new cords for the tv but never sent a guy. We have learned to pick our battles with this apartment management. When we first moved in, I was livid that we didn’t have wifi for almost two weeks. Like, I was ready to sue these people and I raised the loudest, most obnoxious stink about it. I demanded compensation for the days without wifi and they laughed at me and were like “Who’s gonna check me, Boo?” Then finally, they sent a dude over and he set up the router in Liv’s room right on the lovely fireplace mantle.

He told me there was nowhere else he could hook it up in the apartment. The French have a way about making you feel grateful for when they do the bare minimum. I mean by the time the kid installed the wifi, I didn’t care if the modem it was in the middle of the bathroom. I just was desperate to get back onto Instagram and check my emails. Then there was a list of repairs we needed in the apartment. We were told the handyman would come on the first day we moved in, and he did…but instead of the list of things I wanted fixed, he was only there to fix a broken lock on a window. That he didn’t even fix! So days passed and we went out and bought a new shower head and lamp for Liv’s room but Antz could only halfway install them without his tools. He rigged the showered to work with a hair scrunchie but it took days to get the repair guy back to install it correctly. He halfassed installed the lamp (notice how crooked it is in the photo) and sort of ignored the rest of my list so c’est ce que c’est. After a month of waiting for the TV cord, we decided to let it go. There so many great elements of living here to complain.

The good news is the rude, noisy pigeon I told you about either moved or is dead and I couldn’t be happier! I’ve grown accustomed to the loud, rowdy bar downstairs (they seriously sing Queen songs all night long) however it’s the morning after that bugs me. On our walk to school in the morning Liv and I play a game called don’t step on the broken glass bottles or dog shit. It’s not a fun game. I suppose I didn’t spend close to the same time walking the streets of LA, so I wasn’t aware if there was a people not cleaning up after their dog problem but here, it’s ridiculous. Like mountains of poop and evidence of many unfortunate people slipping in it. Now that there was been less rain (to wash the shit away) and scorching hot weather, along with the daily garbage on the street, you could just imagine the smell. On the brighter side, the boulangeries tend to overpower the stench with the smell of fresh baked bread and I hear the streets are filthier in New York.

I was lucky to get to celebrate two Mother’s day (American and French) so I was treated by my loves to brunch at my favorite place, named after my favorite flowers Peonies. It’s a tiny, cute cafe that also has flower workshops downstairs. We have been a few times and it’s our favorite place to get carrot cake.

I have been forced into eating healthier against my will because the food here has less chemicals and preservatives and I find the fast food is pretty gross. I still miss In & Out and fried chicken desperately. However I have been fine with eating rotisserie chicken and buttery croissants. When we were in Nantes waiting forever for the delayed train, I bought a bag of cheetos from a vending machine. The bag looked identical to the ones in LA but I’ll never forget the taste of stale cardboard and dust. Nothing remotely like good ole’ American cheesy cheetos. That awful taste will follow me to my end of days. I even craved a salad for the first time in years a few days ago. We found a salad bar place near our apartment that makes custom salads.

Father’s Day was the same date in France as the Us so we took Antz for Fête des Pères to a space I heard about on the ‘Gram. I didn’t know what to expect when we trekked out to the boonies (13th arrondissement) across the river. Station F is an old train station turned into a massive co-work space and restaurant called La Felicità which reminds me of Downtown LA’s Grand Central Market.

You can see it’s pretty rad. Most of the restaurants are Italian. Italy happened to be playing in the World Cup semi-finals during our dinner so the staff was singing songs in Italian.

The food was really good! I had truffle pasta and Antz had smoked salmon. Of course Liv had pizza. We definitely will go back again.

This month there has been lots of people selling antiques on the street of our neighborhood. I have been browsing all the magnificent wicker baskets but I haven’t committed to buying anything just yet. I would have taken more photos but I was yelled at by a guy when I took a photo of his dinosaurs. I don’t understand the no photos stance here at all.

I wanted to buy a bouquet for our apartment so I mustered the courage to visit the lovely flower shop by our apartment and I made the transaction without speaking any English! The owner, Julie, barely spoke English as well so we used a lot of sign language. We put together this pretty bouquet and I made a new friend.

The end of May and early June we saw a surge of art take over the city. Aimee told me to get my ass over to the Palais du Tokyo to see the dollhouse exhibit that looked exactly like Olivia’s Calico Critter dollhouse. Liv damn near lost her mind when she saw the exact same rabbit family she has living on the top floor.

This cute little place emerged from Gare Nord.

A new rad mural popped up around the corner from our place.

So just as I was sad about missing the Los Angeles Invasion by one of my favorite street artists, Space Invader, I was shook to see that my hero BANKSY hit up Paris with new art! I happened to be driving a rental car when I found out he put up a piece in the Porte la Chappelle area. We found it very quickly based on his Instagram posts and just my luck…we found this.

Just a few hours in daylight and someone already destroyed it. I understand why Banksy installed it in this neighborhood. It’s a migrant area in a rough part of the 18th arrondissement. I guess they didn’t like the attention the art piece was creating when they are suffering there. I hate to say it, but the migrants here in Paris are still treated better than in America. PATHETIC!

On the drive home, we found this Banksy a few blocks from our apartment next to the Georges Pompidou Center in le Marais.

Early morning the next day, I stopped at Bataclan before returning the rental car and found this shrouded angel Banksy. Have you seen the Netflix documentary about the November 13th attack? I have watched it several times and it’s heartbreaking to hear the events of that night directly from the survivors.

Antz and I spent an early morning Banksy hunting while Liv was still in school and we found a few. The Napoleon one is also in the 18th near the Stalingrad Metro. The poor doggy is located in the 5th near La Sorbonne.

There are a couple more I didn’t see in person but I haven’t been anywhere near the Eiffel Tower (tourist trap) or Montmartre (I don’t go there because it’s all hills). Also, I heard someone carved out the mouse on the champagne cork. I didn’t hear about his last piece which is about the student uprising that took place at the Sorbonne in May 1968 until a few weeks later. I also found a recent Invader in the area that also commemorates the May 1968 student protests.

These are from his website.

On Liv’s last week of school we had an after school snack (known as the goûter) at the Hello Kitty Pop Up Matcha Cafe. The matcha donuts were yummy but we didn’t like the matcha iced lattes.

So all is well so far. We have found the cutest laundromat near our place however, it’s pricey to me (I usually do three loads for €40!) but I rather have nice fluffy dry towels which makes doing laundry there bearable. Liv has been a wonderful laundry helper.

I’m sorry I’ve taken forever to post lately but I gave my blog theme a makeover and it took my old lady brain ages to figure it out and I’ve been super busy with all the many trips we’ve taken in the last few months. I promise to post about them soon.

Bonne journée mes amis!

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Le Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen

May 28, 2018

Bonsoir amis,

There is a huge antique (les puces) flea market in Northern Paris. You have to walk through a few blocks of fake flea markets before you find the real one. I’m talking really tacky jeans, shady looking jewelry and cheap knock-off designer sunglasses. There are guys also selling “Chanel” perfume and unboxed cell phones aggressively. Once you make it through that, you will find a lovely antique flea market. We spent a few hours looking for items for our new apartment. I wanted a vintage Parisian street sign, a Camroon Juju hat, a Moroccan Fez, an embroidered tablecloth, and a steamer trunk. I left empty-handed because everything was super expensive. I am not into haggling over prices and most of the vendors were cranky. We encountered a few very friendly people however more vendors seemed annoyed by our presence than pleased.

I did stop at the tacky flea market for a second to try on this lovely African necklace. Not for me. I need a longer neck to pull this off.

The tacky flea market vs Les Puces

I didn’t even dare ask the price of these vintage Louis Vuitton steam trunks, but aren’t they dreamy?

Just a tad too small.

Olivia was looking for a ring with her birthstone, which a pearl but I told her most of the jewelry looked cursed. Kidding! There was so much cool antique stuff but so expensive.

Tell me I’m wrong…

Should I just casually purchase a crystal ball? Or do I need these guys in our new apartment?

So, if you thought the sweet doll from Annabelle was “scary” then meet her older brother known as Mister Nightmare!

Liv kept saying, I want a doll. They aren’t scary, Mom, they are just authentic!

Hmmm, her birthday is coming soon, tempting.

This silverware was beautiful. I have the worst feeling those nightgowns were worn by actual ghosts!

This signage and lamp stall was my favorite but sadly everything was well over my budget. I would love to buy a French street sign but even the small ones were €250. I will keep searching.

I love looking at taxidermy but would never dare own it. Cool cuckoo clock at the top. I really wanted a chandelier but I have no idea what size to buy, if they work or how to have it installed in our apartment.

Another item I really wanted to splurge on was this incredible rabbit painting. I liked the size and the frame but I couldn’t justify spending €250 on a painting that wasn’t an original. Not when I’m married to an amazingly talented artist who works for cheap wine and kisses.

I also was going to ask about this rad Moroccan fez hat but some old, mean guy who worked in another stall yelled at us to not take pictures did not seem to want to chit chat with Americans.

After getting yelled at a few times for taking pictures (Okay, jeez didn’t know I was in a museum!) and running into one too many creepy dolls, we left just in time to get rained on. I’m glad we checked it out but I am an online shopper at heart. I’m still looking for those items on eBay and Etsy.

The flea market address is:

142 Rue des Rosiers, 93400 Saint-Ouen, France

Make sure you walk north of the freeway overpass, stay to the right and look for rue Jean Henri Fabre, there are entrances all along this street.

My ignorant, American ass was snapping photos most of the time but some of the vendors don’t want their merchandise photographed, so be sure to ask first. And please, say Bonjour and Merci to every person you encounter!

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Life in Paris: Month Deux

May 17, 2018

Bonjour mes amis,

It has already been two months since our arrival in Paris! I cannot tell you how fast this time has flown by. We exchanged our house in LA with a sweet French couple in Nation (12th arrondissement) for the first two months so we could have time to apartment hunt. I am so happy we were able to live in Nation mostly because we were able to experience a new part of the city we have never seen before.

I feel like I have finally mastered taking Liv to school on the Metro. I used to be confused about which direction the train would go and call myself out as an obvious tourist during the ride by watching for every stop. Now, we know all the train lines and have the cool, I can’t be bothered look while on the train. I do still get secretly excited when an accordion player is on the train. Although once on a crowded train I got my skirt caught in the door.

Side Note: My hair is huge here. I spend hours flat ironing it and yet the second I go outside it turns into an instant pouf. Must be the humidity, there is so much moisture in the air.

Liv and I usually discuss our plans for the week and how we are adjusting to life in France during the ride. I ask her about the differences between LA and Paris. She makes statements like France is so much more cultural and historic than California. She told me, “In Paris everyone takes public transportation but hardly anyone in LA does. Most people at the grocery store are grumpy but here they care about helping you.” She also said the food here is much better than LA. She’s doing well in school. I have met some of the parents of her classmates (although very few speak English). Her curriculum is very similar to her French school in LA but they go off the campus for PE (which is called sports) and I feel terrible because I can’t help her with most of her homework (only math and English).

After I drop her off, I usually take the bus home because the Metro is very crowded and grab my luggy to pick up the day’s groceries. I still can’t get over how frequently I have to shop here. We go through groceries like crazy!

So far we absolutely love living in Paris. I still cannot believe we are here after dreaming of this for so many years. However, there are some downsides to life in France. Please don’t think I’m some entitled brat complaining about my great life, I just want to keep it real and show both sides of our life.

It is very expensive! So far we have plunked down quite a bit of euros for household items (new towels, shopping at Ikea for our new apartment, basic toiletries). It’s harder to stick to a budget because we had to stock up on basic items. Our first week here I bought Liv a scooter, new clothes and had to replace a pair of shoes she outgrew. This month Antz and I needed some new clothes because we (happily) lost weight! I spend €225 every month on our Metro/bus passes but sometimes in a pinch, we need to use Uber and depending on how far we are from home, it can be expensive. We needed to rush home from Versailles to make it to a birthday party on time and it ended up costing €65 for a 30 minute ride.

Liv really enjoyed her €9 smoothie.

Then Monoprix had to come out with this rad limited-time collab with Maison Chateau Rouge. Just take all my money!

The romper was for Liv but if they had my size I would totally rock it. I pretty much cleared out their home decor display.

However, groceries seem less expensive here than in LA. Like cheese, meat and beverages are super cheap. But let me tell you about the most magical, delicious item in all of France… la beurre!

Back home I buy insignificant salted butter for like $3.99 on sale. Here, I only buy Sel de Mer de Noirmoutier and it is so delicious. I use it on everything, you could tell me it has crystal meth in it and I would still be like “Pass the butter.” I must say, America is missing out on this fucking amazing butter. It costs €2.35!

However dining out is still costing a fortune. We stopped ordering cocktails and are sticking to drinking water but we can’t seem to keep our bill under €75. Recently, while out on a stroll around the neighborhood we found the famous rue Montorgueil. The heavens parted and angels sang as we discovered the most intoxicating smells of baked bread, meats and fresh fruit. The oldest bakery in Paris is located here. It’s now my favorite place to buy fruit and we fell in love with all the restaurants.

We brought home the best BBQ ribs and a half a kilo of cherries for lunch. Liv gobbled the whole tray in five minutes! Oh, and I am now a basket lady. I have bought three baskets since I got here. This is who I am now. Note: The fluffy hair.

We found this incredible living wall called L’oasis d’Aboukir. It rains almost once a week so I guess that is why this garden is so insanely green.

There are a few other annoyances here that I can’t seem to figure out. Like getting mail delivered. It seemed to be easier to get our mail when we were staying in Nation but that could be due to our sweet neighbors helping us out by accepting our packages. In our new apartment, we have a mailbox that we put our names on but nothing has been delivered so far. It took many attempts to find which of the local post offices our address belonged to. My French is not as great as I thought it was. I was able to pick up one package (I ordered five weeks ago!) yet three more are in mail limbo because we were told if our building has a locked gate, they can’t deliver packages. Uh, like every single building in Paris has a passcode door so why wouldn’t they at least email me or leave a note so I know where to pick up my stuff? Today I am going to Fed Ex for the third time to pick up a package that was delivered nine days ago! My Mom sent me a huge care package and it took me two weeks to figure out how to track it down.

Another thing I will never get used to is the military presence here. I mean, they all seem like nice soldiers but it’s jarring to walk down the street and then boom, there’s five or six fully uniformed army folks casually carrying guns that look like they belong in a video game. I don’t dare take photos of them but they do say bonjour without a smile as I walk by. Oh, and they wear berets. I suppose I am lucky to live in a relatively safe neighborhood because there have been random knife attacks since we have arrived and sadly, I am always cautious when we are in large crowds.

I also seemed to have a hyper-sensitive aversion to noise. I was equally annoyed by the nonsense noise caused by our hillbilly neighbors (they had the world’s lamest garage band) in LA. Here, the sounds are subtle but torturous. For example, we noticed the first night while in bed, the upstairs neighbor’s toilet must be directly above our heads. Imagine the sounds we heard. They also had some type of saloon door that swings shut. This door produced a boom, bump, bump, bump sound all day long, just about every 30 seconds. I was very close to paying them a friendly visit to offer some felt pads but we moved into a new apartment. Just as we arrived at our new home we were welcomed by the constant cooing of les pigeons. They nest outside of our kitchen window and their incessant cooing sounds make me want to murder. Liv and Antz swear they can’t hear them so I’m the only one going crazy over the sound.

My final (first-World) problem is our new apartment doesn’t have a separate dryer. They consider this country sophisticated? I was warned about the hard, scratchy towels of Paris so I’ve always traveled with my own towel. The night before we left LA, I took a shower and used my soft, brand new bath towel that I packed in my carry-on. Then as we were re-packing our stuff I realized I only had enough room for either my winter coat or my towel. I was already wearing my camel year-round coat on the plane so I had to make a Sophie’s Choice. I decided it won’t be so terrible to buy new towels in Paris once we arrived. Guess what? Soft, plush towels do not exist here! I was stuck using my face towel for the first week. Monoprix does sell towels but they have a scratchy texture and cost $32.99 each. So, lesson learned, travel with your own pillowcases and towels. I did bring my allergy-free pillowcase covers with me. So, I’m living in 1925 y’all!

I adore freshly dried linen sheets or hand-washed pajamas but putting on stiff as cardboard undies sucks! Now I understand why everyone has to iron clothes here.

In other fun news, it’s peony season! My favorite flower is in bloom and you can buy four stems for 20 euros. Well, that’s how much they were at the marche however Antz found a sweet bouquet for me for Mother’s day for just ten euros.

This is how they look three days later, swoon.

May 1st is May Day. According to Wikipedia, on 1 May 1561, King Charles IX of France received a lily of the valley as a lucky charm. He decided to offer a lily of the valley each year to the ladies of the court. At the beginning of the 20th century, it became custom to give a sprig of lily of the valley, a symbol of springtime, on 1 May. Nowadays, people may present loved ones either with bunches of lily of the valley.

Liv has been a crafting machine since most of her toys couldn’t fit in her suitcase. I took her to La Droguerie to buy a pom pom making kit. This colorful place is located on

9-11 Rue du Jour, 75001 Paris, France

She was able to customize her own glitter! This kid and I were in rainbow craft supplies heaven.

We try to go to visit a new arrondissement every weekend. The parks here are absolutely gorgeous. Just don’t ever step on the grass. When the sky turns blue here, you grab a picnic basket and run outside!

Jardin de Luxembourg
Rue de Vaugirard, Boulevard St. Michel, Rue Auguste-Comte and Rue Guynemer 75006 Paris, France

The boat rentals are €4 for 30 minutes. Liv chose Mexico to rep her Grandma Maria.

I think the pony ride was €8. Sweetest pony but our seven year old child is a giant.

Parc Floral
4 route de la Pyramide | Bois de Vincennes, 12th, 75012 Paris, France

We also love strolling our new neighborhood to hunt for Invaders.

Liv pointed out the heart shapes in the window panes of that heart.

One evening we took a stroll and ended up on Île de la Cité just at sunset. I swear I am never going back to the US!! Life here is tres beau.

Ask me anything about living in Paris.

Moving Abroad: Paris the first month

Apr 12, 2018

Our time here has felt like light speed. The year before we moved Paris was the longest of my life. Now the days are flying by in an instant. So, what is life living in Paris like? It’s amazing, complicated, sometimes cold, strenuous, always exciting and the best thing that has ever happened to me (with exception to marrying Antz and having Olivia!)

This is just one of the hundreds of beautiful blue doors of Paris. I get caught up in the beautiful mix of this city’s architecture and the urban dirt. Besides my obvious tourist uniform, I know I stand out here because I’m the only person who looks up at the buildings and I always take note of the stamps found on buildings that show the architect and the year it was built. I appreciate every little detail.

I also am constantly hunting for Invader mosaics using his app on my phone. I have already found 48 just this month.

I am going to keep it real. I love it here but it comes with the same issues as home. Most days are rad but some days suck too. I love the fresh food, the bread is insanely delicious and the charm of dining in French cafes never gets old. I do find eating at the cool places is becoming expensive, I miss In & Out drive thru and please, for the love of God, will someone bring blueberry bagels to France? They literally have every flavor but my favorite! We don’t yet feel completely settled because we will be changing apartments next month so we are still living out of our suitcases. We also haven’t figured out the final step of finalizing our visas which is stressing me out but also Merde, we have 90 days to get it together.

Our first week here was heaven. Antz had the week off from work and Liv wasn’t enrolled in school yet. Since we had the rental car for a few days it made getting around town a piece of cake. We took road trips, explored the streets of Paris and stocked up on groceries. When I took the car back at Charles du Gaulle airport, I took the Metro home. I was quite proud of myself for taking public transportation 45 minutes through Paris, at night, by myself. I would never have done that in Los Angeles but the Metro is relatively safe although you do have to be aware of pickpockets. We purchased monthly Metro passes with the help of a kind Metro worker who didn’t speak any English. The Navigo passes require your photo on them so I was able to use our rejected visa photos. Monthly passes cost 75 euros each but I think that’s a bargain since we use them several times a day! So far the hardest part about using public transportation is the nonstop walking and stair climbing. Inside of the Metro is an underground labyrinth that seems to never end. The train line we take most often is the furthest away and about 5 stories deep. There is something I will never get used to when using public transportation. Total invasion of personal space! I get it, most times the train or bus is packed with hundreds of commuters trying to get to their destination however, I get so annoyed when strangers touch me or lean against me. I know that sounds very American gross of me but I like my bubble. Also, I get stared at…ALL THE TIME. I’m used to people looking at me, I look like a giant baby doll but this is awkward, borderline rude staring. I get the full up and down look and I’m not sure if it’s judgement because I am the only person in Paris who wears bright colors, is a foot taller than everyone and I’m usually dancing with my headphones on or confusion. Either way, I have a tough skin when it comes to the staring or I stick my tongue out at them and they stop. On the brighter side, despite my self-admitted laziness, we are walking so much more now than we ever have. All three of us have lost pounds since our arrival and I can see a difference in how my clothes are fitting. My wedding rings are loose on my finger!

One thing I will say I am impressed about French people is they are avid readers. Nearly everyone reads on the metro. I have already finished reading Ready Player One in a few weeks which is something I never seemed to have time to do in LA.

Everywhere we walk there are public bikes for rent called Velib. Liv is always asking us to rent them so one day I couldn’t take her asking anymore so I gave in. Turns out the bike seat wouldn’t lower enough for Liv’s height so she was having trouble steering and braking. Instead of using the hand brakes (her bike at home is a beach cruiser so she is used to foot brakes) she would just jump off the pedals and let the bike drop. It wasn’t going to work. Antz ended up walking with her the rest of the way home but I enjoyed my bike ride until I got off and realized how sore my butt was.

We had to do some shopping to commence our life in Paris so we hit up my two favorite stores, Bonton and Merci!

Me plotting on how to steal this fiat I can’t even fit in!

Antz needed a new scarf so he tried on almost every scarf they had. I don’t know who suggested paisley print for mens scarves but he opted for a simple yet stylish chambray blue. I browsed the lovely Merci en Rose pop up shop but I didn’t get anything. I may go back and get a Merci tote bag (hard to pick a color). I also want those eyeglasses that make me look like an adult with a PhD. Liv almost talked us into buying her this adorable fisherman hat but it was just too small. I hope to find it in medium.

When they finally pulled me out of Merci we walked to Bonton, a rad kids store that has toys, clothes, accessories and furniture. I knew the only way to get Liv from bugging us about renting bikes was to get her a scooter. Every kid (and some adults) has a scooter here. I liked that she has something fun to do during our long walks and Antz didn’t have to worry about her crashing like the bike. She even paid for her own bell with her euros from Aimee.

I haven’t seen the kid walk ever since!

The second week Antz went back to work (from home) and I was devoted to enrolling Liv in school. This part really sucked. Before we left LA, I spoke with our school’s campus director (French version of a Principal) and he wrote Olivia a letter in French to give to her new school’s director. He gave me a list of documents we needed to enroll her, the school calendar and a list of school supplies. He seemed confident that we wouldn’t have any issues with enrollment. Monday morning we took Olivia to visit the school to meet the Campus Director and inquire about enrollment. We didn’t have an appointment so we arrived when school started at 8:30 am. Of course no one in the school staff spoke English so we stood around smiling and nodding for several minutes until Liv was somehow able to translate that we wanted to meet the director. The director reminded us of a character from Harry Potter but he was very friendly and kind. He took us upstairs and with very limited English, we discussed our desire to send Liv to his school. He told us he would love Olivia to come to his school and he complimented her French. I almost hugged him with joy but he also mentioned, if we had the correct address for enrollment, he would welcome her. As we were leaving we asked to peek into a classroom to get an idea of what the environment was like. I was impressed to see the students all stand whenever the director enters a classroom. We used to do the same thing in Catholic school. We even had to stand anytime we spoke during class. Kids today have no idea how easy they have it! Liv mentioned how they didn’t have a smartboard like her school in LA. She hasn’t used a regular chalkboard in class before. He told the class that Liv was from Los Angeles and they looked at her like she was a celebrity. I was so excited for Liv to start school in a few days!

When it was time for me to go to the Mairie (town hall) to enroll Liv in school things got much harder. Back home, I researched everything I would need to enroll Liv in the school. I knew I needed to bring her birth certificate, proof of address, our passports and her vaccinations. The day we went for some reason, I totally forgot to bring her French translated birth certificate. We had to come back with them and the woman informed us that because of our address, we would be assigned to another school. Olivia had to act as our translator and due to the nature of our conversation, there were many words she didn’t understand or didn’t know how to translate. I tried my best to explain to the Mairie woman why we wanted to attend that school but she wouldn’t change her mind. It was the famous French bureaucracy that I had always heard about. It really wasn’t a matter of me talking her out of this, it was our address that dictated which school Liv would attend. I left the Mairie in tears. I have never felt more frustrated. The main reason we moved to France was for Olivia’s education and I wasn’t going to settle for just any school. It was my shittiest day here. The next morning, I brought her French translated birth certificates, copies of our passports, I made an appointment to meet with a doctor to translate her vaccination chart into French and I had to pick up an original document to prove our French address. Once I arrived at the Mairie, I felt determined to win this woman over and knew that I had one more chance to try to get Liv into the school I wanted. When I arrived at the Mairie, the woman told us she was leaving for lunch and I needed to talk with her colleague. The colleague had no idea what we were asking her and she was even meaner than the first woman. When I say she was mean, it’s more of a blunt attitude. French people aren’t very smily and sweet like I’m used to. I was learning that if you don’t have the right paperwork here, you are screwed. She didn’t seem to understand that I was in the process of getting Liv’s vaccinations translated (I had an appointment later that day) and she keep requesting copies of paperwork the other woman had already approved. I ended having to ask Antz to email me documents and walking to a print shop and getting the copies printed three separate times that day. Since it was Friday and the Mairie closed at 4:30, I finally called it quits. I was panicked. Liv was supposed to be enrolled by the first week and starting school the next Monday and I still hadn’t made any progress for getting her into the school we wanted. I spent all night trying to figure out a plan. I went back to the Mairie on Monday and decided, I’m going to sit here as long as it takes to get Liv into the school. I finally had all the documents I needed. I was still waiting for the French vaccinations but she seemed to be fine with us showing the school once we had them. I sat there for three hours confused at Liv’s translations and feeling ill that I would have to enroll her into another school. She finally said she needed to speak to her boss about making an exception. I guess she saw that this crazy American wasn’t going to leave until I got what I wanted. She called the campus director and I was like Yay! He will vouch for us. When she got off the phone she was like, the campus director told you he would welcome you at his school IF you had the right address to enroll. Oooh No! So, after a stare down she went upstairs and told Olivia something about having to speak to the mayor. I thought Liv’s translation was off but shortly after, a guy in a suit came downstairs and sat down with us. He spoke a little English so he told me we didn’t have the right address for that school. I explained my situation to him and showed him the letter from Liv’s school director in LA. I have no idea what that letter says because it’s written in French but he made a phone call and then asked me why do you want to go to that particular school. I tried to explain but I’m sure he didn’t understand my English. He then said all the schools here are the same. I was like, I know parents of children that go to the school, I have researched this school online, I want the location of this school and then I stopped myself from saying I walked past the school everyday daydreaming about Olivia attending when I made a surprise visit to Aimee. Whomever he called I owe them my gratitude because the woman printed a form and told me to sign it and was like, Okay you can go to that school! I almost passed out with joy. It took me a week longer to get her in but the next Monday would be her first day of school.

I can’t believe that the morning of Liv’s first day we woke up to this white powdery magic!

Her first day was rad! She spent the first hour sitting in a fourth grade classroom. Everyone thought she was ten years old! She said at recess the kids were crowding around her like she was Michael Jackson. The best part is she had no problem with the language barrier. She has already made several really good friends. Her school starts at 8:30 am then at 11:30 they get an hour and a half for lunch and it’s served in an actual cafeteria! I thought those only existed in movies from the 80s. She isn’t so excited about eating French food but at least she’s trying new things. The rest of her day is from 1 pm – 3 pm, then after-school activities until 4:30 pm. She has an acting class and has joined the chess club. On Wednesdays they are dismissed early (at 1:30) so she goes to ballet class.

I researched a dance school when I came to visit Aimee so when we arrived, I signed her up for a month of classes. To my surprise, we showed up for the youth ballet class but everyone looked much older. I mistakenly thought one of the students was the instructor because no one spoke English. I could tell Liv was way out of her comfort zone. The teacher is BRUTAL! She doesn’t look like a ballet dancer but halfway through the class she unhooked her bra and kicked off her heels and started busting some serious moves. I was able to sit in the first class but I didn’t understand anything. Liv looked like a deer in headlights and I thought she would burst into tears any second. The teacher did a lot of shouting, clapping and stomping, it was intense but I loved that she pushed Liv and introduced discipline she has never experienced before. It wasn’t as strict as I’ve seen Russian ballet schools but it was not at all like her sweet, patient teacher at her ballet school in LA. After class one of the students tried to translate in English. All I understood was the teacher said Liv has deformed feet. I’m sure that was just a poor translation. I managed to take some secret photo during the class.

The woman in black is who I thought the instructor was. That is her teacher with the fiery red hair! At first, I didn’t think her teacher (aka Madam Black Swan) would allow her to stay but she met us in the courtyard and told Liv she was up for teaching her to Liv’s dismay.

She definitely outgrew her old shoes and leotard so we headed to the famous Repetto Paris store. I was surprised that she chose black this time. My seven and a half year old teenager!

This was my kid’s face after her almost two hour class! Three weeks later, she’s really enjoying the class. She still groans about having to go but she comes out showing off her new skills and her posture is visibly improving. I know it will only make her a more skilled and stronger dancer. (did someone say Stage Mom?)

We had to celebrate that challenging week with a date at Princess Crepe.

It took me ages to find her a backpack for school. I originally wanted to use her Kanken backpack but it was obvious it was too small and every single kid at her school has this adorable French bag called Tanns. I asked some of the Moms where I could find them and they told me to go to Le BHV (a fancy mall). We only found a lame Frozen one. Finally, we walked around the neighborhood and bam! We realized there was a huge luggage store right around the corner from her school.

We all weighed in and this pink one was her choice. We added the iron-on patches of course.

So with school all sorted out, I think I have the grocery shopping here down to a science. The first thing I learned is shopping on Sundays is limited because most stores are closed unless you head to the Bastille Marche which is a wonderful, large farmers market. I was bummed because they already sold out of the Spanish paella.

Monoprix has been my one-stop-shop, much like Target in LA, it has everything from clothes, to school supples, to groceries, to linens. I have a great Boulangerie (bakery) around the corner that I love but I’ve been pretty bummed for the last few days because they have been sold out of butter croissants. When that happens, I stroll down a small street nearby and find another bakery however, I have found that the croissants just aren’t as good. I think most fruit stands anywhere have consistently fresh produce but because they don’t soak everything in chemicals and pesticides like in the US, fruit spoils very quickly. We usually eat all the fruit on our walk back to the apartment. We still go all the way to the 10th arrondissement to our favorite boucherie (butcher shop) that sells our incredible rotisserie chicken and roasted potatoes. That has been our favorite meal since we arrived. The guys know us because we go there once a week!

I am so impressed by the level of quality and presentation the food is at Monoprix. Exhibit A: The meat and seafood section

Something as simple as buying bacon requires a variety of tasting different meats and having the butcher hand cut a half a kilo (that’s always weird to us). I don’t know half of the meat they sell but everything looks perfect. I have never seen so many different varieties of cheese. When we first went shopping Liv was like, can we just please get plain old yellow cheddar?

The shopping baskets at Monoprix aren’t this chic. I wouldn’t have much need for a wheeled basket in LA, but I bought this cute one from Olliella to use (when it’s not raining) to carry our heavy loads home. The plastic carts at the store barely roll, have a handle that is always broken and the insides look like someone threw up on them.

How cute is this guy?

One of Liv’s favorite thing to do is use the fresh orange juice machine at Monoprix. Why isn’t this wonderful machine in every grocery store in America??!!

We drink a large bottle every single day. Feeling healthy AF! There’s a little section in Monoprix devoted to “American” products like regular mustard (the French only use Dijan), pancake mix, syrup and for some odd reason, Nerds candy (my favorite!). I was dumbfounded to discover there is no steak sauce anywhere in Paris. After complaining about it to Aimee she sent a care package with a lifetime supply of A-1 sauce. Yay!

So what’s it like eating in Paris? Expensive! We are lucky to have Chef Antz prepare fresh butter croissants and omelettes for breakfast most days but when we eat out, it’s always an 80 euro bill. It’s hard not to indulge in decadent meals and the kid loves ordering escargot. I pushed myself to try something new so I ordered a duck dish with roasted carrots and potatoes. I liked it but I probably won’t order it again (too gamey for my taste). We usually stick with a fish or chicken entree. Paris has the weirdest business hours! Most restaurants open around 11:00 am and then close around 1 – 3 pm and don’t open again for dinner until 7 pm. This is so hard to adjust to since we usually want to get food afterschool. We get by with a goûter de l’après-midi (French for afternoon snack) we get something from the bakery or fruit stand but you are out of luck until after 7 for a meal.

We have been guilty of eating at a few American restaurants as well. For my birthday we went to a Texas BBQ place called Melt, that was incredible. Best Brussel sprouts I’ve ever had.

Oh yeah, I am quarante-et-un now. This old lady had a birthday last month. I already got my wish, duh! My sweethearts found this rad rainbow cake for me.

Antz and I had an early morning date at Breakfast in America (they have the fluffiest pancakes in Paris!) It’s nice to know we can take a break from the exhausting life of being French.

My biggest craving other than bread, butter and grapes has been popcorn! I go once a week to get fresh popcorn from the cutest place called Yummy Pop! which happens to be owned by Scarlett Johansson. It reminds me of kettle corn from the farmers market from LA and we have made friends with the girls who work there. They know my regular order and I know this may sound gross but it’s strawberry mixed with truffle parmesan popcorn.

The weather in France is not what I expected at all. When I was packing to come here, I brought heavy sweaters, scarves, gloves and winter coats. This is why we had so much luggage! I was preparing for blizzards and freezing temperatures. We have been pleasantly surprised with how much we enjoy the cold weather. It rains much more often than in LA but we haven’t been too cold. There have been a couple of times we were caught in a downpour without our umbrellas. I am getting used to wearing a coat or jacket and a scarf everyday. Even the few days when it snowed it’s been bearable.

We are starting to get warmer weather. When the rain stops the sky is the most vibrant blue. Spring is here! This is a park close to Liv’s school. I cannot get over how beautiful this city is.

So that sums up our first month here. This post almost took a month to finish because I was having some technical issues with getting my photos and videos to upload. Needless to say, it’s been a fun whirlwind. I am hoping to take it easy in the next few weeks. Liv has two weeks of spring break vacation and we are taking a trip this weekend.

Merci my friends for checking in!

Bisous

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This is no Dream… This is Really Happening: We moved to Paris!

Mar 9, 2018

Nous sommes arrivés à Paris! I can’t believe we have been here three whole days. Of course time is flying by in this beautiful city. Our flight was seamless which is shocking considering how much grief our fourteen pieces of luggage plus our huge iMac computer was giving Antz and me.

Thank goodness my Mom has a monster truck called “Beast” to help us carry all fourteen of our heavy bags! I even had to ship two suitcases because they were too heavy for the plane. I hope you got the Rosemary’s Baby (Mia Farrow with the cutest Pixie haircut ever) reference, film nerds! I got this rad shirt just for the flight because I love Rosemary’s Baby and I still am in denial that we have actually moved to freaking PARIS!!

This angel here hooked us up in such an awesome way!! I feel like the entire airport was cheering us on as we were leaving. Flying premium class has it’s perks, like we were able to hang out in the VIP lounge at LAX and I had so many yummy cocktails. They were serving a drink called Red Carpet because the Oscars were happening that weekend. I accidentally left my beloved navy Yokoo scarf in the lounge and only discovered it was missing as we were about to board our plane.

I wish I’d known we would end up having a two hour delay (we just ended up sitting on the plane) I would have tried to run and grab it. Boo!

Yet, we didn’t lose anything else and my neurotic thoughts of our iMac computer getting damaged were all for naught. Norwegian Airlines was a dream to fly and we slept most of the flight. Look at all that glorious legroom in premium class!

We arrived a Charles de Gaulle airport much later than I planned so we didn’t have time to go to dinner. I was so happy to go through customs easy, peasy. It took me so many long, stressful months to get those French visas and I wanted to kiss the agent who stamped them!

We were exhausted and terribly hot (check out my hair!!) by the time we found the rental car place. Luckily, I got a cool English-speaking dude who hooked us up with a minivan that fit all our ridiculous luggage. I have to say Thank You to my Mommy for giving us bungee cords! We wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere with all this luggage without them and they really came in handy when we were packing the van.

I was surprised that I liked the rental car we got this time. Even though minivans aren’t cool at all, I was grateful it was an automatic transmission, with heated seats. I could plug my phone to play my music and I set up the driving navigation. I was also happy for the rear camera because parking here is no joke. It’s like a crazy game of Tetris fitting all our luggage in the van. Driving in Paris is no different than LA other than the dreaded roundabouts. Those were definitely tricky because it becomes a Mad Max battle and it took me almost killing us several times before I understood how to navigate them. Antz needed a Xanax to calm him down from the crazy motorcycles drivers in the city.

I can’t believe I drove down the famous Champs Elysees! Of course, we had to promise to take Liv to Ladurée for some macaroons but she politely declined to go on the ferris wheel.

The apartment we are exchanging for two months is lovely. I am putting together a post about it soon. It’s a small studio with a toilette I fit in by a mere inch but it’s warm and cozy and the bed is heaven! I love that she lives on a private street so I could park anywhere for free! We have already done so much in a short amount of time here, I can’t wait to share all the photos we have taken.

But of course she sparkled just for us as we drove by!

Je’taime Paris. We are so happy to finally be here!

Our Visa Appointment at the French Consulate

Feb 12, 2018

Salut. Today I will try my best to recall the story of our visa appointment. This is all a true story, no exaggerations.

I have given birth and let me say, that was a piece of cake compared to getting our visas. It did not go anything like I expected. I imagined a lovely office where we would sit in a private room and be able to speak with a French agent (let Liv show off her French skills). We all take photos with our new visas in hand.

NOPE!

I liken our experience to going to the DMV with no appointment. The day started off fine, we felt prepared as we could be. I didn’t forget anything, I took my stress pills. We all dressed up, as I mentioned in my last post, I wore my fancy new brogues for good luck. We left the house with plenty of time for traffic and I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be (although I had a serious knot in my stomach). Google maps told me it would take 50 minutes to get there. GOOGLE MAPS LIED! They wanted me to take three freeways that I know would be a parking lot at that time of the morning. I took the streets knowing I can take shortcuts around traffic. All the drivers of LA were being assholes! I almost threw up and cried because the 50 minutes arrival time kept changing to an hour and 2 minutes. It took ages to go a few blocks. Every shortcut I took was met with someone driving 10 miles per hour. I was not happy. I think I gave Antz a heart attack with my crazy driving but there was nothing I could do, we arrived at the consulate at 9:04 am and our appointments were scheduled for 9:00/9:20/9:40. Yep, I blew our first impression by being late. Then we couldn’t find the entrance because it makes total sense to look for an address INSIDE a building. We park in the garage and look for the office only to have the world’s slowest speaking security guard tell us the French consulate was located outside around the back of the building. This guy.

So, you do understand I was wearing my brand-new shoes made of leather. Meaning, not broken in and destroying my heels in blisters with every step. Please use your imagination of me shuffling in hurting feet walking around a huge building holding all our folders, fighting back tears, frantically searching for the consulate entrance. Can you see it clearly? Good!

As we are approaching an alley, we see a few people standing outside the building. We lined up behind them totally confused and worried about missing our first appointment. The door opened and we tried to enter with the other three people but a security guard told us we couldn’t come in yet. WTF? I tried not to panic. The family went inside and we just stood there. Antz finally buzzed the door and we opened it to find the smallest room you every saw. Like Antz, Liv and I could barely squeeze inside. This is why he told us to wait. There was a metal detector and the guard asked if we had any electronics with us. I had my laptop and our phones but he didn’t want to scan them, he said to put them away and said you cannot take any photos inside. There goes my photo of us with our visas. Okay, we went through the detector with no problem and the security guard tells us (sensing how nervous we were) don’t worry, it’s all about the vibe you give. I recomposed myself and we entered another small waiting room. By then it was 9:07 am. Seven minutes late for the most important appointment of my life! There was two guys and the family of three already seated so we sat down. One of the guys looked very polished and had a folder. The other guy was wearing a Members Only looking jacket, had hair on top of his hands and had some loose papers folded in half. There was a glass covered counter (like at a gas station) with two French dudes sitting at them. I assumed they would call us soon and we would go to another room for our appointment. We waited without saying anything. I was stiff with anxiety and feeling sorry for myself that our nice outfits were going unnoticed. The guys called the first two gentlemen to their windows and we continued to wait. I almost interrupted to tell them I had a 9:00 appointment but I figured it would be obnoxious since we were already late. I finally said to Antz, we’ll go next since your appointment is almost over. I was surprised that I overheard the French guys taking paperwork and conducting the visa business at the window. Then I noticed there was no other room or other agents. Just two bored looking French guys at the window. This was not what I planned for. Those minutes went by excruciatingly slow, maybe because of my nerves and we couldn’t use our phones to pass the time. I listened to the right window guy say he needed a short term visa to go to a wedding. The other guy wanted a long term visa and I kept hearing him to tell the agent in a snotty voice “I work for 20th Century Fox!” as if that would have changed something. The agent needed a ton of paperwork from the dude so they took forever. The wedding guy was quicker so when the agent said next, I popped up out of my seat but the guy from the family that was before us outside said, “No we are next.” I said “Oh sorry, I guess they aren’t going by appointment.” He said “No, everyone has a 9:00 am appointment.” It then dawned on me that had we arrived early (as planned), we would have been seen first and the three appointments I scheduled online didn’t matter anymore. Meanwhile the guy who works for Fox was told to come back with his medical insurance and he could get his visa. It bothered me that as unprepared as he was, he was still getting approved. I whispered to Liv, try to speak up and say hello in French when we get to the window.

Finally at 9:37 we were called. All three of us went to the window but there was only room for one of us to speak at a time so I went first because I had all our paperwork in my fancy folder and totally forgot to have Liv say Bonjour. It didn’t matter anyway, this guy didn’t seem prone to charm after his encounter with the jerk who works at Fox. He asked for Antz paperwork first so Antz came forward and gave him my six inch thick dossier. The guy asked a few simple questions and went through every sheet of paper meticulously. He then began to hand me through the slot in the window almost every other paper saying he didn’t need it. You guys, I almost killed myself gathering all this paperwork. I paid for our documents to be translated into French, I made two copies of everything as requested. He handed them all back to me. I was shaking but he hadn’t really said anything disparaging yet. He then asked if I had copies of our bank statements. I was like Oh, my name is also on the bank statements and our advisor said only Antz needed to show proof of income. It’s almost as if he found the one thing I didn’t make copies of just to scare me (I really didn’t see the need to make copies of our 14 pages of bank statements). Merde! He then asked me if we were married. Umm, maybe you would have noticed we were if you didn’t hand me back my certified marriage license so fast (two copies in Antz file, two in mine along with the French translations). So freaking frustrating! He then started on my files which are smaller than Antz because I had no income to show. He didn’t have much to say about mine except he asked if we had an utility bill from the woman we were planning to be hosted by. OMG! I straight up panicked. This was not happening. I couldn’t believe a stupid bill was holding us back from getting our visas. All that preparation and double checking we had everything was useless. He told me I could email it to the consulate. I said screw it to the no electronics rule and I emailed her and texted her because it was 7 pm in Paris. She wrote back immediately and said she would send it after her work meeting. Great, I interrupted her at work, as if I haven’t asked enough of this poor woman. I was so mortified I didn’t even know what to say. The guy then started going through Liv’s papers. He seemed confused when he got to her vaccinations chart so I told him, I put that in just in case. He started speaking to the other guy in French and took about 10 minutes looking on his computer. He finally told me “You don’t need it.” I was smiling like a crazy person. I’m sure I had flames and tears in my eyes at this point. I still tried to be as friendly and courteous as humanly possible. I threw her report card in for extra measure knowing it wasn’t required, he seemed fascinated and began to read all four pages line by line. He asked if we had a school yet for Liv and I fumbled out that our school director was working on it. He then asked us for our fingerprints. By this point a family with a baby came in and was being helped next to us. The Dad clearly had the flu and proceeded to sneeze/hiccup loudly the whole time we were trapped in the world’s smallest space. I felt bad for the guy but I also wanted to scream at him,

“Don’t you dare make me or my family sick with your nasty germs!!”

Antz pointed out that everyone in there was using the same fingerprint scanner and no one was sanitizing it in between. Gross. I was relieved when he asked Liv for her fingerprints in French so that made me feel a little better. We had to take another photo at the window and just like the DMV, we didn’t see how they turned out. I’m positive mine looked like a Goblin with lipstick on my teeth. He nonchalantly asked us did we want our passports mailed or picked up in a week. I said I’ll pick them up because with our three week departure date, I am not leaving anything to chance. I was prepared to use my credit card with the no fee for foreign transactions when the guy asked me to use my debit card. Certainly, I will only be charged three separate bank fees and pay more for euros than my credit card but when it rains, it pours! He took our ten measly papers and put our passports along with them and gave us a tiny slip of paper confirming our appointment. He did smile at us and I gathered my remaining papers while simultaneously checking the shit out of my emails waiting for that bill to come in. Just as we were leaving she sent me the bill and I was like HALLELUJAH!! I have no idea what the bill was for but it was 24.99 euros a month.

The security guard was the nicest person we encountered thus far. We walked back to the car in a fog and then I remembered to take a photo in front of the consulate. At the very least, they had a French flag outside and a kind lady took our photos. I’m still feeling weird and confused about the whole thing. I guess it was not as bad as I’m hyping it to be but it’s a serious exercise in perseverance.

So from what I gather, next Thursday I will pick up our visas, I hope? I never received a response that they got my email with the bill.

Here’s a tip: leave an hour early, duh (I made a rookie mistake and didn’t anticipate shitty LA traffic), bring hand sanitizer with you and be mindful the consulate door is around back next to the alley near the dumpster.

Actually, I want to say I am aware of how bratty and first world problems I sound in this post and I can’t begin to say how thankful I am to go through all these slight inconveniences for the privilege to move to MUTHA-FING PARIS IN THREE WEEKS!!!

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Moving Abroad: Applying for a Long Stay Visa

Feb 8, 2018

This post is for you brave souls who are looking to move abroad for longer than 90 days, applying for a long stay tourist visa in the European Union. It’s a complicated, frustrating, expensive, stressful and exhausting endeavor but I believe it’s totally worth it.

I began researching how to apply for a visa close to three years ago. It has always been my dream that our family could actually immerse ourselves in the French culture and travel throughout Europe. I was curious of what it would take to live abroad for a year. I found the French embassy website and printed a list of the paperwork. Then I created an Excel spreadsheet of we needed to complete and put together a timeline and a budget. If you live in Southern California, Arizona, Colorado, Southern Nevada, and New Mexico you and all family members (six years old and older) must be present at the General Consulate in Los Angeles, California.

Here’s where it gets tricky, when applying for a long stay tourist visa, you can’t schedule your appointment any earlier than three months before your departure date. So it leaves a tight window to purchase airline tickets, show proof of income, proof of where you will reside in France and work out all the logistics of moving. Our window kept getting moved due to issues with Anthony’s company. Initially his employer wanted him to apply for a work visa (called an Intra-Company Transfer/ICT) so that added additional paperwork and we had to work with an advisor from his company office located just outside of Paris. However, if you are self employed, you just would need to state that you will work remotely from home, you need to show a business plan and a letter from clients that will continue working with you and proof of income while you are abroad. Sounds easy, right? Not so fast.

I am hyper-organized and tend to over-plan for things but even with all my detailed preparation and vast knowledge of what is required to apply for a long stay visa, I still decided to pay professionals to assist us during the complicated process. This is something I couldn’t leave to chance. Like in my early twenties, I used to file my own taxes. Back then we were renting, had the simplest W-2s and barely got a $600 refund each year. Now we are homeowners with an actual financial portfolio and a kid, I pay a CPA and leave it in her capable hands.

I found our visa consultant Stephen from his blog An American in Paris and hit him up with all the questions. He gave me a list of recommendations and encouraged me to secure housing before making our visa appointment. Little did I know how difficult finding an apartment in Paris would be. Stephen gave me a list of things to complete that gave me the sweats.

Lizzie Tip: Be sure to make copies of everything a minimum of two for each document!

Official copies of birth certificates/also need to be translated in French (obviously make several copies) you will need copies of everything.

I already had our birth certificates but mine looked different from Anthony’s. Since I was born in Santa Monica, it didn’t have the official Los Angeles county raised seal. That meant I had to go to the registrar recorder office to order a new one and wait and wait and wait. It was no fun standing in line for an hour and a half but luckily, while I was paying for my birth certificate, I mentioned to the clerk that I was applying for a visa and I showed her my marriage license just to check if the one I had was the proper version. Turns out it wasn’t and she printed the correct one for me. It was a victorious day! I listened to my homegirl Edith Piaf on my headphones and daydreamed being in Paris while waiting in that hellish long line.

Official copy of Marriage license/translated into French

If you want to drive abroad you will need an International drivers license. I got mine from AAA for $20. One of the easiest items to get.

Passports (no less than a year before expiration, at least two blank pages and in good shape)

Visa photos (at least 6 each) Olivia and I needed to re-take our photos because our hair was covering our ears. Bummer, I liked our first ones better!

Proof of medical insurance coverage (No deductible, minimum of 50,000 euros of coverage, must indicate “valid outside of the USA or “valid worldwide” and show coverage dates for one year) We bought our policy through our current medical United Healthcare Global Plan. They email you a letter to bring to the appointment. Antz company benefits aren’t valid in France past 90 days.

Proof of financial means (Three months of bank statements, pay stubs and tax returns) Or a big sack of cash!

Statement of Purpose (an official statement of what you plan to do while in Paris). In our case, we are not allowed to apply for work while abroad so we stated we were there for our daughter to attend school and immerse ourselves in the French culture (and eat pastries). Fingers crossed that is enough. Most people apply for studying so they show their university admission letter.

Letter of intention not to work while in Paris (also translated into French). This is strange because Antz will be working while in Paris but he is considered a US remote worker, so he is allowed to work but not conduct any business in Paris. This emoji best sums up what I just wrote.

Submit the completed visa application online. What I found frustrating is there is no way to edit existing online applications so I had to re-submit a new application every time I needed to make a change or correction. This meant that I filled out 3 applications, printed them, signed them and scanned them to send to our advisor in France EIGHT SEPARATE TIMES!! That’s 72 pieces of paper. LAME! The online application is in English but it will print in French so make sure you check for corrections before you finish.

A few years ago I attempted to fill out the visa application and I ended up with so many blank spaces because I didn’t have most of the info and I didn’t have approval from his company yet. I totally broke down and cried with frustration. They ask you to show proof of financial means for the year. To me that translates to “You better be fucking rich.” I have discovered they have a minimum of 13,000 euros per person for the year. They also ask for the address of where you will be staying in Paris on the application, so you have to secure an apartment BEFORE you get your visa. How can you do this to people?

In our case, we don’t have a lease for a rental yet so we got an attestation d’hébergement (a letter stating someone will be hosting you during your stay) from the woman I was planning to exchange with last year. She also had to give us a copy of her passport. This was a total pain because I had to find an English sample of what to write for the attestation and then translate it into French for her. Also, the first copy of her passport she sent me was too dark to use so I had to bug her again for a better quality upload. She’s super cool about everything and quickly got back to me but make sure all your documents are pristine. It’s super tedious and frustrating but every time I checked something off my things to do list, I felt amazing! Although the find a place to live box is still unchecked.

So what if I had no idea how to fill out the French OFII Residency form? Big deal that I had to white-out all of our birth dates on all SIX forms (three originals, three copies) because the French write their dates with the Day/Month/Year. I wasn’t going to let a little thing like not having enough money or a solid plan get in the way of my dream! You will become really good friends with Google Translate.

Our final step was sort of ridiculous, getting our police clearance reports. I’m sure the French consulate wants to be sure no one with a criminal record isn’t planning to set up shop in France. We went to the police department in downtown LA and as soon as we found parking, I realized I forgot our passports at home. We tried again later that evening because the hours were 8:00 am – 8:00 pm. Lucky us, we get there at 7:00 pm and the guy at the desk said the commanding office had already left for the day and they needed to sign our reports. We could either have it mailed to us or pick it up the next day. Since we were a week from our visa appointment, I didn’t want to risk mailing it, so we said we would come back the next day. Then they guy was like, Oh! we are closed on Fridays. So we had to return on Monday morning. This time I called to be sure it wouldn’t be any drama and they said the best time to come would be 10:00 am – 4:00 pm. I guess third time’s a charm because we finally got them! Why is everything a hoop to jump through?

We were ecstatic to finally get our clearance reports. The woman who took this photo asked if we were tourists.

You need to show confirmation of your plane tickets. Yep, buy your plane tickets before you get your visas!

We also had to get an official letter from Antz company’s legal department. (which is required if you are working remotely)

Our visa appointment is tomorrow freaking morning! I just finished putting together our folder this afternoon. It took me over a year to complete everything.

I must admit, I feel pretty confident we will get our visas tomorrow. I have an lucky charm named Olivia who happens to speak French and is too adorable for words.

In the beginning of this process I got comfortable reaching out to people who have lived abroad. I emailed Jordan from Oh Happy Day (she has a great guide to moving to Paris ) with a long list of questions which she kindly answered and gave me excellent advice; dress up for the visa appointment, it’s cheaper to pay for extra luggage on the airplane than ship boxes and get a letter from your employer saying you will be employed during the time you will spend abroad. It is important to reach out to other expats because I needed info but also, I needed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that it’s possible without corporate sponsorship, or being a millionaire made it more realistic. This has become a full-time job for me. Prepare yourself to be on the phone during the middle of the night talking to France. Seriously, our visa advisor requested Antz high school diploma. It was at his sister’s house and he hadn’t seen it for 25 YEARS!! Then we had to get it translated into French only to end up no longer needing it for our appointment. We had to reschedule our visa appointment FOUR times. I could make a killing turning this into a business but the stress isn’t worth it. I am taking stress/anxiety meds and I am still breaking out in hives. Yet, every meltdown, every tear and every headache will be worth it.

Let me be honest, money matters, this is not the path for someone who makes less than $50k a year. I am just on the cusp of shelling out the major Euros. We still need to pay a real estate agent to rent our house in LA and put down a serious deposit to rent a place in Paris. Here is a breakdown on what we have spent on documents.

$45 for our official birth certificates and marriage license

$96 in visa photos (AAA charges $8 per photo and was our least expensive option)

$280 passport renewals (ours don’t expire until 2027, Liv’s expires in 2022)

$2568 for international medical insurance policy (our current insurance sells this policy annually)

$120 in printer ink (for the hundreds of copies!)

$66 driver license renewals

$66 for our police clearance reports (the police dept. only accepts cash)

$450 for our documents to be translated into French (ask me for a referral)

$325 for Stephen (The American in Paris) our initial visa consultant

$1300 for our French visa advisor (required by Antz employer)

$375/99 euros per person for the visa application fees (the euro has gone up $50 since my last post!)

Countless hours of gathering and preparing everything, I’m not even including my cell phone bill for the long distance calls.

Total – $3,123 (although I’m sure it’s higher, I’m forgetting something!)

You have to submit a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the French Consulate to send your passports back along with the visas (fingers crossed). However, the visas are not yet officially complete until after you arrive in France. Your visa is valid once you get a stamp from French customs at the airport of your arrival. After a few months, you will receive an appointment to take an X-Ray for your health exam, submit your forms with the OPII office (French immigration) and pay another fee of 241 euros. You also must register at your local Mairie (which is similar to a city hall) and enroll any children in school.

One of the downsides of our move is we can’t take our 11 year old cat Lola with us. She is an indoor/outdoor cat and I don’t think she wouldn’t do well confined inside an apartment all day. Plus, we have so many travel plans and we don’t have confirmed long term housing, it’s not possible to bring her to France as sad as that makes us. I do have info for anyone who may want to bring their cat abroad. Just email me for more details. Lola will be staying in our house, we discussed it and she’s cool with it.

I began writing this post on February 18, 2016 at 3 am. I have updated it over the last two years and it’s insane how much we have overcome to get where we are.

Just go for it!

Consulate General of France

10390 Santa Monica Blvd. Suite 115
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Monday – Friday from 8:45 am to 12 noon. By appointment only

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Infinity Mirrors by Yayoi Kusama at The Broad

Jan 19, 2018

On New Year’s day we started 2018 in the most colorful way possible. Yayoi Kusama is one of my favorite artists because she has a wig made of yarn. She is also a brilliant and weird lady that I adore. I’ve previously tried four times to get into her Infinity Mirrors exhibit unsuccessfully but finally, we got in and I was so stressed about the 45 second time frame, I only managed to take blurry photos. I don’t know how other people take such lovely photos because when you get in the lights begin to blink so timing the perfect shot isn’t easy.

This time was no different. We had about 30 seconds for each exhibit which gave me anxiety! My favorite art piece (the yellow pumpkin room) did not allow cell phones but oddly, I have seen many people posting photos on Instagram. I know the artist wants us to be in the moment and not worry about taking selfies but if I don’t have a photo, did it even happen?

This is my favorite photo of Antz

This room started off white and visitors are given dot stickers to add to the room. We were there on the very last day so we were given unlimited stickers. It was definitely Liv’s favorite room.

Find the bike

These cuties

This is Noemie. She was Liv’s preschool French teacher and she is the reason Olivia speaks French with a native accent. I am forever grateful to this woman.

As we were leaving Olivia asked for Van Leeuwen ice cream. They seem to always be parked outside the Broad.

Moving Abroad: Where we are now

Jan 12, 2018

Hi There,

So I hope you found my last post informative and honest. I tried to give a detailed account of what it is costing us to move to France. Here’s where it all gets funky but stay with me, the outcome is optimistic.

Last March (exactly one year from our departure date) at the same time Antz asked his boss to work remotely, I was messaged by someone on a house exchange website. She was interested in doing a house exchange and wanted to send her daughter to American school. It was a dream come true. I fell in love with her apartment and she was offering a gorgeous second home to visit in Normandie. I was ecstatic. She had the same Kitchenmaid mixer in her adorable kitchen and a light blue Smeg refrigerator!! If you are a girl, I think you understand the significance. However, the exchange was always dependent on her ability to obtain an American work visa (not an easy feat). We both agreed on a timeline to her get her visa and I hustled as hard as I could, but I failed. I couldn’t find her a job that would sponsor her visa by the deadline. She has been absolutely wonderful throughout my devastation.

Carissa, it’s like you are talking directly to me.

So where am I now? I have reached out to over 70 families on 5 different home exchange websites to find a house swap. I have been sick with stress and highly emotional because our departure date is quickly approaching and instead of feeling excited about our new adventure, I am scared to death about where will we live. I have asked everyone I know. I have asked strangers. I have joined Facebook groups for Americans in Paris with no leads. I recently joined an exclusive designer home exchange website called Behomm. I’d share the link but it’s members only so you wouldn’t be able to view it. Let me say, the houses on this site are from members of the design community and they are freaking gorgeous! Like, insane architecture and style. There is a lengthy vetting process to become a member but I would be happy to talk to anyone who would like to join (there is a $99 annual fee which is similar to most exchange sites). So I felt hopeful that I would find a swapper but after three months and hearing nothing from most of my requests and then slowly getting declines, I started feeling worried again. I was giving myself a 4 month threshold to find housing and I was in December with nothing. So, I had to start looking at other options. I widened my search range (I originally wanted to be in walking distance to Liv’s school) and I was more flexible on my dates. During this period I received over 50 requests for summer swap from all over the world. Not a single one from Paris.

I bought Liv’s rad sweater from Saks last summer. We’ve been waiting for months for it to be cold enough to wear it!

You guys, this has been my dream for such a long time that I cry just thinking about it coming true. To come this far and push through so many challenges and drama, I refuse to not find a way. I reached out to a Behomm member to see if she would do an exchange for two months instead the whole year. Surprisingly, she was into it. This lovely lady is graciously exchanging her home with us so I have a temporary place when we arrive in Paris in March. Is it an apartment with a separate office for Antz to work in? Not exactly. Is it in walking distance to school? No, we will be taking the Metro. But the best part, it is in PARIS! It’s a free, BEAUTIFUL place to stay and I’m grateful to my new friend for making it a possibility. Bisous Louise!

Sometimes I can’t believe my luck! (I’m totally crying again)

I am a huge believer in the saying things happen for a reason and being open to new opportunities. So as much as not having a housing situation in Paris confirmed is outside of my comfort zone, I will persevere. I have already began looking into renting our house in LA and finding a rental in Paris. It really is my last resort because I will have to put down a huge security deposit for a rental and the monthly rent will take a chunk out of our monthly travel budget. I don’t mean to sound bratty, but my goal in doing an exchange was to keep our bills low so we could have the chance to travel. But, I am trying to be flexible. I have shown our house to potential renters and they all sound excited to rent but I haven’t heard from any of them so maybe it’s just looky-loos or they have an issue with the house coming fully furnished. I can’t put all my furniture in storage for 15 months.

I am also having issues with the rental agency that I found a cute apartment that fits our budget and is a 24 minute walk to school (do you see me sweating already?). The apartment isn’t available until April 24th however, they won’t accept any offers until late February because they are telling me it’s too early. Hello French logic! So now I have to find renters for our house before we leave in March. I need to be patient and hope I am lucky enough to get that apartment in February (the current renters may extend their lease) and we will have to hire a property management company to collect the rent and serve as landlords while we are abroad. Oh did I mention they charge 10% of the rent every month? So all those lovely monthly estimates I just shared are out the window. I’m looking at close to $9,000 in security deposits and agency fees. I need to get French renters insurance (my best guess is 300 – 600 euros per year) and I may or may not have to pay an annual tax d’habitation which is approx $1200. I’m fine, this fine.

I have asked friends if they can help me with finding tenants and I’ve gotten the awesome advice to hire a realtor. Did I mention three realtors came to see my house in December? The first one had a snotty attitude and didn’t seem to be bothered. She was charging one month’s rent to find a tenant and kept saying IF she could find someone. The second one went in another direction. He wanted to list our house on Airbnb for the entire time we are away. So not only would I NOT have financial security that I could pay my mortgage but there would be possibly hundreds of random people staying in our house like a hotel, so nope! The last realtor, who I greatly admire was the most reasonable. She would charge $2,750 to find a tenant. I wish I just had that much to spend on finding a tenant. So, I have publicly listed our house for rent. I’ve gotten many inquiries and a few showings but no success.

I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in quicksand. The closer I come to getting out, the lower I am sinking. I am trying to stay positive. I will not let anything deter me from moving but I can’t lie, I am scared, I am stressed beyond words and I feel like I’m alone in this battle.

So as my life experiences has taught me, nothing worth having is easy. I have been through this before when I wanted to buy our house and when we were trying to have Olivia. Sometimes things just don’t go our way and I can accept that. I’m still moving to fucking FRANCE!!

Stay Focused and Extra Sparkly at the Yayoi Kusama exhibit at The Broad (post coming soon)

I would love some encouragement, or it would be great if you could find me a tenant or a house exchange in Paris.

In the meanwhile, I am still searching under every rock on the internet for a match. I am open to anything right now. I am feeling optimistic that our opportunities will align once we are in Paris. I have already encountered many kind strangers who have offered their support. I will keep you updated.

Bisous!