The Master

I was blown away by this film. We saw it at the Cinerama Dome at the Arclight last night.

The show was almost sold out, we sat in the last row on the left side which was perfect.

The title The Master really belongs to Paul Thomas Anderson, he is radness.

Superb! Brilliant! 5 STARS!

I wasn’t a huge fan of Joaquin in the beginning but that guy was really good. I don’t know what he was thinking when he went through his homeless, poser rapper routine. I saw I’m Still Here and I wish he wasn’t. It sucked donkey balls. Yet he was adorable in To Die For, Signs and The Village. He just never made it into my list of top actors. Well, he’s there now. I don’t know how he is the same age as Antz but he uglied it up and looked 57 in this film. It’s kinda Oscar gold to be ugly and depressing in a role. I do wish DDL was in it but he’s busy kicking ass in Spielberg’s Lincoln *dude, no one can act like him*and he’s gonna win like everything.

Philip Seymour…LOVE! Something I have come to rely on in a PT Anderson film is he will give you a seemingly normal character and then out of nowhere they go the fuck off. Like crazy as Tom Cruise! I love it. I have been used to a passive, wimpy Philip Seymour Hoffman actor. He was incredible to the point he surprised me. He better be nominated but knowing the Academy, they will give the Oscar to Tatum Channing *I always mixed his name up but who cares?* for Magic Mike, barf.

Amy Adams, you tried to bring it. I didn’t feel her at all. She had one amazing scene *sorry can’t spoil it for others* but I can’t get past her sweet, girl next door, wide-eyed look. Antz said the role called for her to have that young, Sister-wives/I love being in a cult look but I would have rather seen someone older and less cutesy. TILDA!

Mihai Malaimare Jr. was the cinematographer in place of PT’s long time collaborator Robert Elswit. I honestly can say I didn’t see that much of a difference, the film was shot using 65mm film projected in 70mm. None of this really means much to me but visually it was stunning. I was in awe of how lovely the cinematography and the score by Jonny Greenwood blended.

Towards the end of the film we had a major issue. Nothing at all to do with the film but the dude sitting in front of us. Antz and I looked at each other simultaneously and almost died. This dude *or his girlfriend, we couldn’t tell* decided it was perfectly fine to let out the most rancid, foul-smelling burp in a public theater. What sucked even more is we were in the very last row so there was no filter between the burp and our noses. We both covered our noses with our shirts and squeezed hands as if we were going to die. It smelled like he ate a rotten sausage with extra onions and then licked a dog’s ass! So guess what happened next? He fucking did it again! It took all my strength to not kick the shit out of this vulgar dickhead’s chair.

Then Antz almost made me pee my pants because he whispered that the inconsiderate asshole’s hair silhouette looked identical to Rocky Dennis in the movie Mask.  If you ever have seen that movie you know the best thing about it after Cher’s glorious 80’s mane is Eric Stoltz’s ginger mullet. I was crying with laughter so much I was distracted from the movie.

I can’t say I enjoyed it as much as There Will Be Blood because noone can beat the Master of Milkshakes!!!

Off for a swim now! It’s been 100° in LA all week but we’re fortunate enough to have air conditioning so unless I go outside I have no idea it’s scorching hot. Last time we went swimming it was cold so I’m looking forward to cooling off in the pool.

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