This is what happens when SNL is a re-run.
A. Age: trente-six
B. Bed size: queen, which is ridiculous for humans of our stature
C. Chore that you hate: used to be washing dishes before we got our plumbing fixed, now it’s cleaning the toilet, cleaning the litterbox and cleaning Liv’s potty – anything poop related.
none at the moment, when Liv turns 5 or 6, we’ll look into adopting. *I want a pug, Antz wants a bulldog
E. Essential start to your day: pee, brush my teeths, saying good morning to Liv in French, and turning off our house alarm system
F. Favorite color: green, pink and turquoise
G. Gold or Silver: either but lately I LOVE GOLD!!
H. Height: five foot ten *I’m a giant*
I. Instruments you play: merely for fun, I play a little piany and a mean kazoo
J. Job title: Liv’s unpaid nanny and former hair stylist
K. Kids: Light of my life, Olivia Lily
L. Live: Hipster Highland Park, California
M. Mother’s name: Bobbye Jean
Liz *which I find to be boring* Aimee calls me Lizzie, my Mom has called me Bethye since I was born. Antz and I have a secret nickname for each other.
O. Overnight hospital stays: Luckily only 2 nights when I gave birth to our daughter
P. Pet peeves: The phrase “At the end of the day,” when people leave the light on in rooms they aren’t using, Vaguebookers, panhandlers in Los Angeles, how annoyingly poor my grammar is
Q. Quote from a movie: “Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.” Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and “Oh, please, tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?” Jake Gyllenhaal in Donnie Darko
R. Right or left handed: Righty tighty!
S. Siblings: none!!
T. Tattoos: none, but maybe when I turn 69?
U. Underwear: I’mma keep it real, I don’t wear thongs unless it’s necessary, I adore my girl shorts in black. Totally comfy and never gives me wedgies!!
V. Vegetable you hate: ALL OF THEM!! I particularly loathe raw onions
W. What makes you run late: procrastination, hair snafus and constantly having to run back upstairs to grab something I forgot
X. X-Rays you’ve had: recently I had my back x-rayed. Is that the proper past tense for x-ray?
Y. Yummy food that you make: spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread and a mean grilled cheese sandwich. When our new kitchen is finished, I vow to cook more often *and plan to take a cooking class*
Z. Zoo animal: Polar bears make me extreme happy. I also could watch elephants forever