Moving Abroad: A Financial Guide

Bonne Année!

I don’t want to deter anyone, yet in all honesty, moving abroad can be terribly expensive. Unless your job is relocating you and fitting the bill, there’s no way around this one. However don’t bother buying lottery tickets or playing Blackjack in Vegas, I’m gonna tell you how we are doing it.

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I bought Liv these play Euros two years ago. Liv’s Godmommy, Aimee, gave her real Euros for Christmas. The mini world notebooks are from Rifle Paper Co.

During the time I spent waiting to get an approval from Antz HR team, I spent months researching moving abroad online, putting together all the necessary documents, and talking to people who have lived abroad. I have read so many helpful blogs that share their experiences as an expat but never found anyone in my particular situation.  Some of my favorites are:

The American in Paris (Stephen offers an excellent guide to moving abroad)
Oh Happy Day  (thanks for answering all my questions Jordan!)
Design Mom (Gabrielle moved to France with SIX kids)

First, here’s a brief background on us. We are textbook American middle class; too poor to be rich, too rich to be poor. Typically, a move abroad is funded by your employer but we are moving voluntarily which means we have to pay for everything ourselves. Start saving now, pay off your debts and cut all the extras (daily lattes, mani/pedis, expensive clothes, etc.) the more time you have to prepare, the easier it will be. It wasn’t too difficult for me to stop daily Starbucks runs and give up mani/pedis but it was hard not to travel for an entire year. We were tempted so many times over the past summer to take a trip since people asking to house swap with us in New York, London and Australia. The goal is to trim your costs well in advance and create a realistic budget for what you plan to spend monthly while you are abroad. My high estimate will be 2000 euros monthly for living expenses not including our mortgage and Los Angeles utilities.

Utilities
Building Charges                                                               €150
Electricity                                                                            €150
Gas – Water                                                                          included
Internet                                                                                included
Living Expenses
Groceries/Dining Out                                                                   €600
Metro Monthly Pass/Pass Navigo Découverte                        €146
Spending Cash                                                                               €400
Museum visits/Ballet Classes – (10 class punch card)            €150
Household Shopping – Toiletries                                               €150
Uber/Misc.                                                                                      €254

I asked people who lived in France what the typical cost of things were so I had a strong gauge of our expenses. This is actually less than what we spend in Los Angeles. I am excited to turn in my car lease because for the first time in sixteen years I won’t have a car payment! We will be getting a monthly metro pass. We are in a unique situation because in Los Angeles we spend a hefty amount monthly on tuition however, in Paris Olivia will be attending public school.  We are also cutting back on Liv’s after school activities like Taekwondo and cheerleading. I will continue ballet classes (I found the perfect ballet school in le Marais) and I’m hoping to find a volleyball club. I am used to going grocery shopping every week and Target (for household supplies) every two weeks. Without a car I will no longer be buying things in bulk, so we should be spending less on food and household items. I plan to continue my Amazon Prime in Paris and I’m replacing online shopping with traveling. Oh, how I miss French food!

Now, here is the tricky part, staying in France for more than 90 days requires a visa. We got our visas, differently.

Antz will be working remotely for his company so technically he didn’t have to apply for a French work visa. I hired Stephen as our visa consultant so we had someone to ask questions and give us advice. We also hired an expat tax advisor to make sure we were clear on our tax obligation. More on taxes later… Halfway through working with our visa consultant, Antz company told him they would assist him in getting an intra-company transfer (ICT) visa. From what I understand, he will be transferred to his company’s office located in Paris instead of being an outside employee. They only require him to work out of the Paris office twice a month. This was great news because now his company was semi-sponsoring his visa although we are still on the hook for the $1,300 fees. Liv and I are attached to his visa as family members but I had to write a statement saying I promise not to work while in France (like that was hard). If you’re applying for a long stay tourist visa (carte de sejour) you must show that you have enough money in the bank for a year abroad. What that magic number is, I’m not sure but we are showing his pay stubs as proof of income. Expatica is an excellent comprehensive website that breaks down the necessary documents needed. Once you get approved for a visa in America you aren’t done yet! You must register at the police prefecture and French Office of Immigration and Integration in Paris and have a health exam (which requires an x-ray) at your local maire (town hall) a few weeks after you arrive in France. We will also register at the American Embassy.

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Our visa appointment is scheduled for January, eep!! I have been putting together our documents for months. I paid someone to translate our birth certificates and our marriage license into French. I plan on using Olivia as our good luck French-speaking charm at our appointment.

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So here’s the bad news, because we are spending more than 170 days in France, even though we aren’t expats, we are still considered residents of France so in 2019, we will have to pay French income taxes. We are going from a 28% tax bracket to 45%! That sucks but our tax adviser will be able to apply for a foreign earned tax credit so that should help take some of the sting off. Antz HR team are keeping him on American payroll so he will continue paying social security, medical benefits, contributing to his 401k, etc. I highly recommend going over your finances with a CPA or tax advisor so you have an understanding of your tax obligation. You must file for taxes in both America and France even if you don’t owe any taxes.

 

In the spirit of keeping it real, here’s a breakdown of our expenses. The first and most important expense is getting your passport.

Passport renewal – $140 per person ($60 for expedited service)

Our passports were set to expire in August 2017 so it was time for us to renew but when applying for a visa, your passport must not expire three months before returning to the States. We ordered passport cards which can expedite the lines at customs. The normal processing time is 4 – 6 weeks but ours arrived in two weeks.

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Visa photos – $8 each/ $15 for non-members (we found AAA to be the best)

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We needed at least four photos per person for the visas and also spares in case we lost our passports. P.S. The embassy requests NO SMILES which took many tries.

Visa fees – €1000/$1315

When I began filling out our visa applications, I had many questions and wasn’t sure if we had all the necessary documents. I found Stephen from his great blog about his experience moving to France and now he offers his expertise to expats. I didn’t originally budget for his fee but I also thought, why wouldn’t I hire someone who knows the ins and out of applying for a visa and can answer all these questions I have? I bombarded him with questions, sought his advice in every one of our specific scenarios and had a Skype meeting for moral support. Stephen helped tremendously and I felt much more confident approaching our visa appointment.

Long-stay tourist visa costs – $120 per person (Children under 6 are free)

You can only make an in-person visa appointment at the French consulate closest to your state so some people may have to add the cost to fly in for the appointment. The earliest you can request an appointment is three months prior to your departure date so schedule the earlier the better. The fee is actually 99 euros and the consulate only takes credit or debit cards (No cash, checks) Here is a link to the Los Angeles French consulate. Jordan gave me the tip to dress nicely to give a good impression. Read all about our appointment here.

Certified French Translator – $350 for 4 documents

I found certified translator, Odile Barth, from the LA French consulate website. She’s very nice and fast. You scan and email her the documents and she will mail the translations to you. It was strange seeing our birth certificates in French. If you need to order copies of your birth certificates, you have to go in-person to the County Recorder Office. I needed Antz birth certificate so I waited in line for over an hour but the kind woman really helped me out. I started chatting about our move and she asked if I had our marriage license. She really saved me because the marriage license I planned to take to our appointment wasn’t an official embossed version. The documents were $14 a piece, I think. Make 3 copies of everything!

IMG_6092This place was hell, I went at 8:15 am and left after 10 am.

 

Getting There Expenses

It’s absolutely nuts that a one-way ticket cost more than a round trip fare. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away I worked in the airline industry so I had the privilege of flying for free or extremely discounted fare. I searched every discount website there was. After ruling out a couple for shady reviews, here’s what I found, the more layovers, the lower the fare. Right now Wow Airlines (which I really like) has the lowest economy fare but they have a layover in Reykjavik. We are traveling with our huge iMac computer and eight heavy suitcases with our entire lives packed in them, so I wasn’t going to risk losing anything or missing a connecting flight.

We got lucky when it came time to purchase our airfare. I checked fares daily for a year and waited the recommended fifty-four days before our departure date. Norwegian Air‘s premium class was offering non-stop flights at the same price as economy on other airlines. We saved a lot of money not having to ship our things because premium class includes two check-in bags per person in the fare. I am an over-packer so having to limit myself to 44 lbs per bag, for a year’s worth of clothes and shoes will be close to impossible. We should be completely packed by next month but I anticipate being closer to 50 lbs but it’s still less expensive if I prepay for overweight luggage online than at the airport.

Remember, you are required to bring airline tickets reserved in your name to your visa appointment at the French consulate. This is where shit gets real. Buying airplane tickets is not only expensive but it commits you financially and physically. I couldn’t bring myself to pay $500 per person for non-refundable tickets so I took a serious gamble that our visas will get approved. However, if we don’t get approved for our visas I will purchase return tickets and enjoy a looooooong trip to Paris.

Airfare – $2,068.50 Norwegian Air  ($689 one-way premium fare)

I am so excited to fly Norwegian Airlines! They have super reasonable fares and since I’ve been following them on Instagram, I’ve seen they offer affordable flights to many of the places I plan to visit in Europe. Their premium class fare cost the same as other airlines economy fare and since it’s a special occasion, it’s nice to upgrade our seats.

Excess Luggage – $100 (excess beyond 44 lbs)

Thanks to Norwegian’s premium fare, we are able to check our six bags for free so we should only need to pay for our Mac computer box. We aren’t paying to ship anything but the lowest quote I got when I inquired was $2,000 for an International MoveCube.

Luggage  – $85 each from Amazon

As much as I like pretty luggage, I ended buying a practical deployment duffle bags. I needed something that was huge without a hefty price tag. I almost bought these bags because I like the brand but the difference in price was $100 and I needed four bags. My Mom (who is a veteran world traveler) gave me a foldable travel duffle to carry our household items (my toiletries that aren’t sold in Paris, Liv’s toys, books and larger items). I used a vacuum sealed ziplock bag to fit our king size bedding.

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Carry on suitcase –  $245 from Away

I ended up investing in a quality carry-on hardshell bag after seeing Away all over Instagram. Normally I would buy a cute but cheap suitcase from Target but in my experience they never last long and I’ve had zippers break during a trip which is annoying. The suitcase from Away is guaranteed unbreakable and has a built in phone charger. I love their West Hollywood store.

Travel Adaptors and converters – $42.99 – $19.99 from Amazon

Now, I consider myself a seasoned traveler yet when it comes to finding the perfect travel adapter I haven’t found one that is reliable other than my Apple Macbook Air adapter. I have bought super expensive ones and when I tried to use them, they were shaped like a square when every single outlet in the house we rented was shaped like a circle. I have bought cheaper ones from Target and it ended up frying my cell phone charger when we were in London. I did some research and read reviews before buying this one.

converter

I like that there are USB outlets built-in so we can charge multiple devices at once and has the ability to use this converter in several other countries. I did read that the fan can be noisy but we will see. I also bought a twelve pack of adaptors. I already owned this travel adaptor which worked for my flat iron.

 

Travel books – $105 (The New York Times 36 Hours Europe, Europe by Eurail guide book, The New Paris and Don’t be a Tourist in Paris)

I adore travel books however, they are heavy in our suitcases. I had to prioritize how many books to bring with us. I was lucky to find 36 Hours on sale for half off at Taschen. It’s great for it’s practical travel information and it has beautiful photography. I also found this Eurail guide quite useful. I’ve heard nothing but great reviews on The New Paris and Messy Nessy’s chic guide to Paris. My plan is to travel every weekend and holiday.

All together I spent about $800 on moving supplies but I bought everything during the Black Friday sales so I spent half of what was originally budgeted.

Sixt Car Rental – $300 for four days

We will be renting an ugly minivan upon arrival for the first few days. With so much luggage, it would be ridiculous to take an Uber or the metro. There aren’t many choices when it comes to renting a car in France that has automatic transmission. My bestie Aimee thinks I’m crazy for driving in Paris but if I could drive in London, I’m sure I can handle Parisian traffic. I would love to drive a cute vintage Fiat while we are abroad but so far I’ve only found manual transmission available. As much as I’ve tried, Lizzie can no drivie a stickie.

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International Drivers License – $14 from American Automobile Association (AAA)

I will be the primary driver while we are abroad. The Int’l drivers license will cover me in most European countries however, it’s only valid for a year. I’ve been a triple A member for most of my driving years yet this year has been the most I’ve utilized their services. Our membership is valid even while we are overseas!

 

Total Moving Expenses – $3,500 approx.

Our California Expenses 

Post Office box rental – $96 annually

I rented a PO box in my Mom’s town so she can pick up my mail for me and forward important parcels. There is a company that will forward your mail and packages to overseas addresses.

VPN Virtual Private Network – $99 annually

This is important so you can access American websites like Netflix and for Antz to connect to his job’s network securely. I haven’t picked which one I will use yet but they are necessary.

Farmers Renters insurance – $515 annually

I highly recommend getting this supplemental homeowners coverage if for anyone who will be staying in your home. This helped me feel at ease about leaving our house furnished.

Utilities/Gardener – $300 per month

Ugh, this sucks! I know this may sound high but I would much rather pay my own bills in Los Angeles than pay bills in Paris and not know the stability of the euro. All my utility bills are automatically drafted from my bank and I know exactly how much they are every month so it won’t be difficult to manage from France. Living abroad could mean so many variables that I may not control (the French are famous for their bureaucracy, and the unpredictable foreign currency market)  I’ve heard getting utilities set up for Americans can be difficult. For example, if you want to rent an apartment, you may have to put up to a year of rent in an escrow account and you have to show proof that you have a French bank account. In order to get a French bank account, you need to show a lease agreement. How? Our monthly utilities are gas, wifi, security alarm, and our cell phones. I also made an arrangement with our gardener to prepay him in cash for fifteen months. I will pay electric in Paris but it should be about 150 euros or less.

This best sums up our expenses before we even set foot on the plane. Everyone’s budget is unique and I’m no expert. I am certain our expenses are fairly higher due to the cost of living in Los Angeles. My neurotic worries needed to be at ease so I ponied up for the extra insurance, hired a visa consultant and tax advisor. I hope this post gives an honest insight to the insane list of things to do and cost of making our dream of living in Paris come true.

Feel free to ask me anything or give me your suggestions!

A bientôt!

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Lizzie’s Guide to choosing Private schools in Los Angeles

I would love to share our journey finding Olivia’s incredible school. First, I would recommend watching Nursery University and Waiting for Superman on Netflix. Also subscribe to Beyond the Brochure. Please know, you do not have to be wealthy, have the best connections or even have the best luck. I do encourage patience, persistence and planning. This is a good article of what you want to look for in a private school.

I have this weird thing about hyper-planning. I will plan a vacation down to the minute on our itinerary, the penny for our budgets, hell, I even plan what photos I want to take. My point is, I like researching, organizing and making lists. I enjoy gathering all the information I can before committing. It’s a good idea to get in the habit of being organized. Put together a folder with your child’s birth certificate, their most current vaccinations, fill out admission applications in full. I have been asked to include a family portrait with applications so be sure it’s one that leaves the impression you want to set. You will have to do your own homework when looking at schools. Attend the annual open house, *usually held in at the end of the year* schedule a tour of the campus or sit in on a class, meet the parents or older students and get their perspective. I asked one parent if the tuition was double would they still send their kid to the French school and she said absolutely!

Liv’s teacher takes amazing photos of the class *there’s a Romeo & Juliet in her class!*

When I began researching schools I knew I had a limited selection because I wanted a private school that was non-secular. I didn’t want anything with too far of a commute, so many of the good schools I’ve heard of in the Valley or on the Westside were out. I focused mainly on Pasadena, La Canada/Flintridge and Silver Lake. Then I scoured websites, read online reviews and started narrowing down our choices. I really fell in love with a school close to the Rose Bowl but it presented too many problems for me. It only went to 6th grade so I would have to find a middle school and there are few good local middle schools. It was also very expensive at close the $30k per school year. We knew we would be investing in our child’s future but it wouldn’t do us any good draining all our finances for a school we couldn’t afford comfortably. I was worried about potential snobbishness since the school was in an affluent area and lack of diversity. I got a book with a list of all the different private schools in LA and started looking into a multilingual program. It was a no-brainer for me to lean towards a French school mainly because of my fascination with French culture but also knowing our kid could learn Spanish directly from Grandma Maria *Antz Mom* I only knew of one French school on the Westside that is famous for it’s alumni. When I looked further into it, I knew it was out of our price range and at least an hour drive each way. I spent a second interested in a new progressive school in Calabasas but again, spending 3 hours a day driving back and forth didn’t make sense, even if the school was founded by a well-known celebrity *so glad I didn’t seriously consider it!*

Some time went by and I found a school nearby that I’ve driven past for years but for some reason I always thought it was out of our league financially and we would be denied admission due to not being French citizens. I sort of dismissed it and focused on finding a good pre-school. When we found Camelot Kids Pre-school, I fell in love. I began meeting parents who knew people whose kids went to the French school but they all spoke French. The owner of Liv’s pre-school told me about an open house in December of 2012. We went just to satisfy my curiosity, totally under the impression the school would be too expensive. Just driving up to the campus I was struck by how stimulating the campus was. Unlike most LA schools, there are no prison style fencing. The grounds are on six acres uptop a hill which gives it a sense of solitude away from the city. There is an organic garden that is tended by the students and the local community. The buildings are historically protected 1960s modern designed by famous architect John Lautner. I loved the concept that the children learn at different paces. So the kids with a French background don’t have an advantage over non-French speaking kids. As a matter of fact, most of the kids that come from French speaking homes may understand it well but aren’t speaking French confidently yet. The teachers said they usually become fluent around 1st and 2nd grade. It was astonishing to hear children speak French so effortlessly. I expected to only see French kids but there were Korean, African, Haitian, Swedish, Japanese, Hispanic all happy and eager to say Bonjour to us. I am so used to LA pissy attitude from kids that I was shocked to encounter such politeness and genuine courtesy. I know I may over-talk this school but honestly, I invite anyone to attend their open house and tell me if you aren’t blown away by the history, the philosophy, the down-to-Earth feeling, the community awareness, the academic curriculum, so many awesome activities about the school will make you a believer. The tuition was pricey but not as expensive as other schools. I also loved the idea of Liv attending one school for her entire academic career. It makes her learning consistent and puts less pressure on me finding good schools later. I put Liv on the waiting list and was disheartened to discover she was on the 3rd tier list. The way the school works is priority is given to French students *one or more parent must speak French or have European citizenship* of course siblings are given priority admission, then other International students are on the second waiting list and folks like me with no French language are on the third list. The school only allows admission to non-French speaking students up to Kindergarten since the learning of a language is most effective during a child’s first five years. I was hopeful but also nervous. The first year went by in a blink and by the following year I was sweating. We put her back on the waiting list but we were still at the bottom waiting in limbo. I was a mess when they finally called me for her interview last January. I was planning to send Liv to Camelot Kids full-time but I decided to continue part-time so we could save for the French school. We reached out and met parents from the French school. We asked people to put in a good word for us. We did as much as we could without a cash bribe. In hindsight, I didn’t need to worry as much as I did because the school has three pre-school classes *close to 40 spots* and we were a perfect fit for the school. I am sure they seek students of different nationalities, students who show a desire to learn and parents who are committed to their kid’s education. It’s important to showcase your personality, for example, I don’t have a French background but I’m still very knowledgeable about France and spending the summer there with Olivia was helpful. I still stressed out when we didn’t hear anything and we started thinking about a plan B. There aren’t that many French multilingual schools but people told me about charter schools *I wasn’t so into the idea of lottery based admission* and top public schools in good neighborhoods *but really lacked diversity* Our hearts were set on the French school so we were willing to stay on the wait list another year with our fingers crossed. Well, just around the time to re-register Liv in Camelot Kids we got a phone call that Liv was accepted!

BIAcp2 on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

It took almost three years of waiting to get Liv into this dream school. I love her teachers! So far she already has made new friends and lucky for us, she has no qualms about speaking French aloud *she’s much better at pronouncing her R’s than I am* I have phrasebooks, iPad apps and my friend, Fanny is tutoring me once a week via Skype so I hope to keep up with her so we can practice together at home. I have already memorized the days of the week and the months of the year!

Her first visit to her classroom last month
She loves her new playground

Many people ask me why we chose a French-language school. Aside from being bilingual by 2nd grade, she will be challenged academically. We are excited that Liv will graduate with a dual diploma, an American high school diploma and French Baccalauréat which will make her eligible to attend any university in Europe. The fifth grade class spends two weeks in Paris for their class trip. The graduating class has 100% Ivy League school acceptance rate! The extra-curricular and athletic programs are excellent. The school embraces technology and is constantly upgrading their facilities. There is a strong alumni relationship and most of the students return to teach or volunteer for events. They celebrate many international holidays *so excited for Winterfest in Décembre* and have many cool field trips planned.

Liv’s school is best described by their core values:

  1. First and foremost, academic excellence.
  2. Collaboration, communication and community.
  3. Commitment to the curriculum.
  4. Utmost respect for all individuals within the school community.
  5. Cultural diversity.
  6. Intellectual curiosity and open-mindedness.

I look forward to this new chapter in our lives. J’aime l’école française!

Thanks for all the support and well-wishers, we are so happy to share this adventure with you. Bonne chance!

Packing for Europe

Our big trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam is one night away and I am so excited!

The husband finally finished packing last night. He’s always the last to pack but he’s the lightest packer. Everyone seems to think I’m over packing but even Antz couldn’t fit all his clothes and toiletries in his tiny carry-on. We were just about to buy this bag from Flight 001 *one of these days I hope to buy this guy* for him when he remembered I won a nice Samonite duffle bag from my old company at a Christmas raffle. At the time I won this bag, I was disappointed I didn’t win the ipod but boy am I happy we have it now.

Antz suitcaseThere’s a separate compartment on the bottom for shoes and it has backpack strap and wheels. I found the cute luggage tag at Target.

I bought a voltage converter so I will be able to use my flat iron *I am praying it won’t break* and Antz made some snazzy luggage tags for me.

Antz backpackHe’s such a minimalist

Herschel Supply Co Heritage Backpack

Homemade luggage tags *He designed them, printed them and I took them to Staples to get laminated, only cost $1.50 for 4!*

Apple iPhone/Apple Earbuds

Antz passport

Nikon D3000 SLR Camera

Gum *Olivia is super excited because she is allowed to chew gum during our flight so her ears don’t hurt from the pressure

Eyeglasses

Apple iPad

Ghirardelli chocolate *I bought some as a gift for the flight attendants

Aveeno Baby Daily Moisture Lotion *sometimes baby products work best for adults

My bag is also from Herschel Supply Co

I have a must-have list of items I can’t fly without.

Hand sanitizing wipes (as someone who worked for an airline before, wipe the plane’s tray before using).

Cozy socks so you can take your shoes off during long flights.

I can’t sleep without an eye mask (Target always has cute ones in the $1 aisle).

Aveeno Positively Radiant Face moisturizer

Travel size perfume Marc Jacobs Daisy rollerball

EOS lip balm (I like vanilla mint)

I always fly with a rosary (I’m Catholic so it’s obligatory)

I have this rad Rebecca Minkoff pouch for my makeup

Since I couldn’t fit the Nikon camera in my bag, I carry the smaller Nikon J1.

I packed a book I’m excited to read and a couple of travel journals for the long train rides. 

I packed my Fuji instant camera in my check-in suitcase, nestled in between my clothes so it won’t break (fingers crossed)

I don’t fold my clothes, I roll everything to decrease wrinkles and save space. I also make a copy of my passport in case my original gets lost. I’ve had these Streetwise maps for a few years and I finally get to put them to use!

I hope I’m not over the weight amount for my suitcase. I’m an over-packer.

Today I picked up our foreign currency at the bank so now I’m ready to make it rain in the shops!!

British pounds
Lizzie & Queen Elizabeth
 

I hope my talisman will keep us safe, I love mythical superstitions! Do you have any travel good luck charms?

What’s in the bag?

Ready for more packing fun?! I finally got the backpacks I ordered from Amazon so I wanted to share my essentials for the trip. I’ll start with Liv since hers is the lightest. I have been wanting to get her a new backpack for her new school so when I found the Fjallraven Kånken *which means arctic fox in Swedish* I knew it was the one. It was hard choosing a color because of course Liv wanted pink but we wanted a more neutral color. I almost bought the mini version but I am glad I went with the classic. Liv is so tall and she can fit more stuff in there. I chose the ochre color and I really love it *I just may have to borrow it, Liv* Olivia is going through a transition from toddler to big girl, so she really likes having her own bag with her own things.Livs backpack

Fjallraven Kanken Backpack in Ochre

Urbanears Plattan headphones in Colbalt

Apple ipod shuffle *loaded with all her favorite Michael Jackson songs*

Frozen Little Golden Book

Paris coloring book *I had to get it when I saw it at Michaels*

Twistables crayons

Newsweek Michael Jackson special edition magazine

Harry & Wills the two-headed Dragon *purchased from this awesome store*

Eos lip balm in strawberry sorbet

Fisher Price digital camera *it holds 1,000 photos so she can go nuts!*

Fruit leather from Target

Organic Lavender & Orange Blossom Lotion stick *a gift from my friend Kim, smells so yummy*

Neutrogena Baby sunscreen

Liv’s passport

Funko POP Michael Jackson “Beat It” Vinyl

Here’s my backpack

Liz backpack

Herschel Supply Co Backpack *mine was filthy but a trip to the dry cleaners has it looking brand new*

SkullCandy headphones

my iPhone/Ban.do case

The Fault in our Stars *so excited to read this on the plane*

Bon Voyage Travel Journal

Wandering Paris

My Passport

Marc Jacobs Honey Perfume rollerball

Aviator glasses *I buy cheap ones from Anthropologie since I break/lose them so often*

Rebecca Minkoff P.Y.T. Pouch *I keep my lipsticks in here*

Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 15 *this stuff has changed my complexion for the better, I use it everyday*

Eos lip balm in Sweet Mint *I used to swear by Rose lip salve but the container is hard to open and my last one melted in my bag*

Nikon J1 camera *just had it repaired and cleaned*

My rosary that smells like roses Aimee bought me from the Vatican *I travel with it everywhere*

Orla Kiely for Target bag *I keep socks in there and my eye mask so I can sleep*

Kleenex Wipes *I have a three year old, I’m never without these*

*I may have to add a small umbrella

Also in my backpack:

Our itinerary, vouchers, hotel info

Copies of our passports and drivers licenses

Streetwise maps

Streetwise makes my favorite maps. They are laminated and small so you don’t look like a lost tourist and they are easy to find landmarks, museums and public transportation. Another packing tip I found was to take photos of everything in your luggage so if it gets lost, it easier to file a claim.

I am going to Flight 001 this weekend to buy luggage tags and a voltage converter for my flat iron.
Of course Antz hasn’t packed yet because…well, he’s a boy and he works full-time so I’ll add photos of his backpack hopefully soon. What are your must-have travel essentials? Did I forget anything? I will pick up some snacks at the airport and my electronics/extra batteries and cords are in my laptop bag.

Rustic charm vs Shabby chic

I keep starting to write posts and I haven’t published any. It’s not like I haven’t been busy lately, I just haven’t been in to mood to take as many photos because I need to take our Nikon SLR camera in for service. Using my iphone to take photos has left me feeling uninspired. I’m not sure if I should bite the bullet and buy a new camera or get mine fixed and buy this external flash. Well, I’m going to need a solution soon because we are taking a trip to Europe this summer.

We found this amazing secret garden in Pasadena called Arlington Garden

Honestly, I have been knee deep in planning this vacation. The last time I planned a big trip was over ten years ago so I’m rusty. There was no Pinterest, Instagram or blogs to reference back then which make it very hard to narrow down my options. I have been apartment hunting for a place in Paris for weeks now. I
am not exaggerating when I say I have looked at every single apartment
rental in le Marais. I want to find a place with Air bnb since it has the most legit site. The problem is my favorite apartments are not available for the dates I need. This was my original winner but of course, it’s booked. I have never been so picky in my life.

My top ten criteria is:

1. Location (Le Marais)
2. Haussmann building
3. Plenty of light and quiet (no lower floor units)
4. One bedroom/one bathroom
5. Clean furniture that doesn’t feel like dated *Parisians really like plaid bedding and red couches*
6. Washer/Dryer
7. City views
8. Chevron hardwood floors
9. Close to a metro station
10. All this within our budget!
* Dishwasher (a bonus)

 

I have narrowed it down to these top two contenders.

Rustic & Charming in the 3º arrondissement

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World’s narrowest kitchen
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Wheee, these stairs!
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Hooving up and down six flights of these stairs everyday will be the death of me
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Let’s break it down. This apartment is within our budget, perfect location in
the heart of le Marais, has authentic Parisian charm *look at that beautiful building and courtyard* it has all the amenities we need. It doesn’t have my chevron hardwood floors but I do like the stone pavers. I google-mapped the street to find it is centrally located and even has cute graffiti.

The downside is, it’s a six story walk up with no elevator. That will get
old really fast but not a deal-breaker. The kitchen…is tiny! I don’t
think I can even open the oven door but who knows how much we will be
baking in the apartment. I am not a fan of the second floor bedroom. We
are very tall people and it appears there will be a whole lot of leaning
and possible head bumps in that slanted loft ceiling. I do like that
the bathroom is on the second floor since I have the bladder of a ninety
year old at night. I like the rustic feel but it may be more dated than I’m imagining it to be. I don’t know how comfortable we would be lounging.

Our other option is…

Shabby chic & cute in the 4º arrondissement

 
The kitchen is small but efficient

This
apartment is super cute. I like the quirky toys and the floors. It feels French shabby chic. My favorite is the dollhouse in the bedroom, I know Liv will love playing with that guy. The views are rad and there is an elevator in the building. I like the street it’s located on much better than the other place. The apartment also comes with a cat!

This apartment does have it’s downside, there is no fixed shower head in the bathroom, which Antz isn’t so happy about. It’s also a smoking apartment so I worry it will smell like smoke which grosses me out. Also as of three days ago, the host has yet to respond to my email inquiring about renting the place so I’m not sure if it’s available for the dates I want.

Liv is mega excited to eat French bread and ride the carousel

I cannot seem to make up my mind. The apartments are very close in location, size and price. I know I am being picky *Antz keeps reminding me, we aren’t going to be in the
apartment that often
* but I want to feel at home. I could just get a hotel room for the trip but I want total immersion. We are planning to go to London and Amsterdam too so I’ll post about that soon.

Bonsoir!!

Let’s get down to essentials

I’m talking wardrobe. I saw this post on Say Yes and it got me thinking about how to edit my own wardrobe.

12 wardrobe essentials for every budget
12 Wardrobe Essentials for Every Budget

When I look in my closet, I always feel like I have nothing to wear. I also have been feeling like I wear the exact same thing everyday. I definitely have a favorite outfit!

 

I have worn my DIY skirt to death!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a go-to uniform or in my case “a signature look” *striped shirt/skirt/statement piece and flats or sneakers* I don’t follow many fashion rules but I don’t wear dark colors often and I always stay away from purple *I don’t want to be mistaken for a certain dinosaur* However, when it comes to clothing basics, I could use some updating. There are some key pieces I am missing in my wardrobe.

In January, I cleaned everything out of my closet and took an inventory of my wardrobe.

Before I cleaned my closet
Believe it or not, this is after I cleaned my closet

I definitely suffer from clothes hoarding.

That sweater on top belonged to my Mom. She has patches from all the places she’s traveled. I love it but I don’t wear it anymore because I’m afraid I might ruin it.

What you are looking at:

10 pairs of pants in every color of the rainbow *except gray, denim or black!*

10 shirts *I really want a light chambray shirt, an embroidered tunic and a swiss dot shirt*

10 tops/tees *Nothing special here, I could use some new boatneck tops and I want this shirt really bad!*

15 Sweaters *I’m good here yet my white cardigan has a hole in it and needs replacing*

14 dresses *I could use a shirtdress and a navy jumper*

3 shorts *I am considering cutting my old jeans into shorts, well see how they turn out*

I made the most progress getting rid of tons of shirts. They were old and I never wore them. It was hard but I used the 12 month rule, if you haven’t worn it in 12 months, it goes in the donate box. I got rid of anything that didn’t fit well and I sent some things to the cleaners for repairs. I should invest in a good garment bag for my fancy stuff.

I also went through my shoes and accessories. I must admit, I have too many shoes. I promised myself I wouldn’t buy any new shoes unless I got rid of a pair.

I sacrificed my old Green New Balances *they started hurting my feet* for my lovely floral Golas. I got them for next to nothing with my birthday discount at Anthropologie.

Unfortunately, as much trouble as I went through to get them, I am getting rid of my white oxfords I wore to Le DEB. They are super cute but I came home with the worst blisters on my heels from all that dancing. Funny thing is, they didn’t bother me at all during the night but when I took them off, I wanted to cut my feet off they hurt so bad. Lesson learned, always put band-aids on your heels when wearing a new pair of shoes. I am considering new white shoes for this year’s dinner.

So here’s my 12 Wardrobe Essentials

Trench coat, Saltwater sandals, dot chambray shirt, creme pullover sweater, mint jeans, polka dot oxfords, denim shorts, striped shirt, black t-shirt, statement necklace, green cardigan and gingham shirt

I have similar pieces to Liz Stanley but I don’t have a cable knit sweater, black ballet flats, I’ve yet to find a pair of booties that look good on my giant cankles and I am on the hunt for a pretty embroidered tunic. I would add a denim jacket, a pencil skirt, a shirt dress and my signature Ban.do piece for my basics.

I am starting to tone down my bright color choices and I’m leaning towards a more mature/classic style. I can always go nuts in accessories and jewelry. What’s going on in your closet? Have you mastered the essentials?

Oh, Bebe! The junk you will need.

My dear friends are having a baby girl so I thought I could put together a mini guide for the parents-to-be.

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Congrats Story & Chris!!

Bebe Essentials:


Maternity Clothes
Most ladies can skirt through their pregnancy without having to purchase actual maternity clothes, stretchy waist pants, skirts along with maxi dresses made with a jersery fabric are great.

These pieces were comfy but not maternity

I loved Gap Maternity and Target. I tried to buy stuff I could wear after bebe and I still wear a lot of those dresses today. Nordstrom carries Bella Bands which are crucial for preggers ladies who want to stay in their jeans. Medela made the best nursing bras from my experience. My boobs were enormous the first few weeks so it was essential to have a nursing bra that fit well and I could wear 24/7 and feel comfortable.

Crib/Bassinet

We went high end with our bassinet, but luckily we were able to sell it once she outgrew it.You want a piece that is easy to move to whatever room you will be in. It doesn’t have to rock, I don’t remember rocking Liv that often in ours. I like this folding crib for space saving. Liv slept with us more than in her crib for the first year, so this is a great temporary crib until you choose a long term bed.


Crib Bedding/Blankets

Olivia was fortunate enough to receive a lovely crib bedding set from our bebe shower. So before you shell out a lot of money on bedding, add it to your registry first.

We purchased this set for her crib and really, that’s all she has ever needed. We rotate back and forth between the two sets when it’s time for laundry. Lately, she loves pink so we haven’t used the orange set as often. Most important is buying a few waterproof sheets. They will protect your mattress and they last for a long time. I love this crib set and this one if you are anti-bumper.

*We used a bumper, gasp, and had no trouble at all but it’s something to consider.

Aden + Anais make the best swaddling blankets hands down. They are lightweight but long enough to swaddle the wiggliest of bebes. I used this set and loved it.

Dresser/Changing Table

A changing table isn’t necessarily an essential. Folks use couches, beds and mostly the floor which is the easiest location for a squirmy bebe. We lucked out when we bought our crib and got a bargain for the changing table and dresser/hutch for a deal.

Oeuf furniture has held up exceptionally well for the past 4 years. The dresser has just enough storage to house her vast wardrobe but I do have to stay on top of donating her clothes that she outgrows *although I’ve been keeping so many pieces for sentimental reasons, HOARDER!*

A peek into Liv’s drawers

Car Seat

You really need a car seat that comes with a separate base, and buy an extra base if you have two cars. You want one that is easy to move in and out *cause your gonna be doing this often*. I suggest a canopy to keep the sun out of bebe’s face. I hope Story & Chris are fortunate enough to have a bebe who loves car rides. Liv has always loved riding in the car so we still take her for a night drive if we can’t get her to sleep. Choose a car seat that is comfy for bebe, and a material that won’t make your bebe too warm.

Graco Snugride Click Connect 35 LX Car Seat-Coco
My Mom gifted us a Peg Perego

A boppy. Even if you don’t breastfeed *you better!* they are a must-have. I used that boppy every single day for two years. They prop bebe up and are a total lifesaver for feedings. Register for two covers so you have a back up when one is dirty.

Bottles/Nursing

Speaking of feeding, we used Medela bottles and I used a manual breast pump. I never had the chance to freeze my breastmilk, so I’d suggest sticking with Medela if you go that route.

Stroller

I am sticking with our Bugaboo bee. We loved the features of our bee but I also like the Chameleon. Liv grew well with it and it was easy to use. The bee functions well, you can use it facing forward and rear, it tilts so bebe can nap comfortably using the cocoon. We never needed a jogging stroller since the handling on the bee is smooth. Liv is a super tall kid, so we stopped using it a little after her second birthday which coincided with her desire to either walk everywhere or have her daddy carry her *which he still does even though she’s almost 40lbs!*

One week old!

Two years old


Baby Carrier

I used our baby carrier ten times more often than our stroller. When bebe is new, you want as much skin to skin bonding as possible. Since I wanted a carrier that would be comfortable for my large *giant* frame and wanted something Antz could use too, I decided against a sling carrier. I didn’t want anything with metal so the Baby Hawk was our best option. Let me tell you, it took tons of convincing Antz it was safe. He was sure the knots would loosen and Liv would fall out. After the first time I put it on him, he was a believer. I ordered ours with extra long straps since we are so tall so it gave us room to tie our knots triple times for that extra reassurance.

I loved the BabyHawk, still have it!
Liv’s first trip to the beach

These are some essentials that I couldn’t live without. There are other options but these worked best for me. Here’s a full list of items to register for.

A & D Ointment!! I am a huge advocate for this miracle in a tube for diaper rash prevention. Liv stayed rash free by dabbing a bit of ointment in every diaper. It kept her bum smooth and comfy.

Diaper Dekor – Holds tons of dirty diapers and kept the odors in control.

Wipes Warmer – Cause noone likes a cold wipe on the bum.

Grooming Kit – Has most of what you need like nail clippers, thermometer, comb, brush and nasal aspirator. This one is great for clogged noses, it gets bonus points for being called the Snotsucker.

Bathtub – We didn’t use this guy as much as I would have liked but filling up the tub and then moving it to the kitchen for room to bathe Liv was cumbersome *this was in our shitty plumbing days* However, we received this as a gift so we would splurge now and then and use this bath in her early days. She still takes showers with me most of the time.

Hooded bathtowel – Keep bebe warm, Liv’s lamb is soft and adorable.

Soap, Shampoo & Lotion – I found Mustela to smell the best and work well for Liv’s skin. This may vary for every bebe’s skin type. We used Baby Neutrogena for sunscreen. Now that she’s older I typically use Baby Aveeno for soap and shampoo.

Pacifier – The best one you will use will come from the hospital. Don’t forget to bring home all the freebies from the hospital *I still use a burp cloth and waterproof pad we got from Huntington* Liv didn’t use a pacifier for long but when she was teething we used this guy.

Sophie the giraffe – No, she’s not a dog chew toy. Every happy bebe has one, she’s the best! Register for two cause you’ll lose one or it will get dirty from bebe dropping her.

Bebe clothes – We bought just about everything *on sale* from Baby Gap.

Activity mat – We bought ours from Giggle but it’s sold out. Liv used it everyday for tummy time. She liked the mirror and we added toys that would rattle. We sold most of her bebe stuff but I am keeping this guy until I no longer have room for it. Call me crazy…

Swing/Bouncer

We received this swing at our bebe shower so I never had the chance to research swings or bouncers. This one played classical music and had different speeds. It was a Godsend! I would put Liv in there and could actually go to the bathroom or eat food without holding her. She would always fall asleep in there.

When she was old enough to hold her head up, her Godmommy got her this jumper. It’s excellent for strengthening their legs and allowed her to use hand-eye coordination. You can only keep them in there for a few minutes at a time but she loved that jumper.


How rad are her orange Adidas?

Don’t forget to request a bebe greeting from the White House. It’s a lovely keepsake for those of you who are fond of our current president.

Hope this is helpful. You can also check out my previous bebe guides here and here.

Hooray for my friend’s sweet bebe girl! I am super excited to meet her.

Spring Beauty

It’s been years since I did a beauty feature but ever since I got my new favorite Nars lipsticks *Schiap and Heat Wave* I’ve been feeling super glammy. Wednesday I decided to amp up my eyes for the babyGap/Babiekins Magazine Spring event at the Grove.

No jokes about my giant banana hands!

I wasn’t gonna add this photo cause it’s so blurry but I want to show you my shadow

Ban.do overload, FABulous!!

Let me tell you my trick when applying eyeliner…a q-tip dipped in a gentle make up remover. Clinique Take the Day Off is my fave since there’s not too much alcohol which irritates my eyes. Pencils have erasers on the back for a reason and unless you are a super talented artist like my amazing husband, you are like me and can’t draw a straight line freehand, so I cheat. My hand gets crazy shaky when I’m applying eyeliner on my top lids, so when I go crooked or too thick, I just use the q-tip to remove my mistakes. I also try not to pull my lids too taunt since it stretches my skin and can give me a puckered line instead of a smooth one. Then I apply a base of MAC primer on my lids to serve two functions, give my eye shadow something to stick too, and it makes the pigment in the color really pop without using tons of product. I took a MAC Pro class with my friend Jessica years ago and I learned how to use the right brush for the desired look. Before I just used my finger or whatever brush was handy but if you want a flawless satin look, invest in a good quality blending brush. You will get better coverage and use less product. I’ve had my makeup for years because I use very little but it goes a long way. While you at it, once you spend the bucks for a lovely brush, treat it with care so you can keep it forever. I wash my brushes once a week with baby shampoo and warm water. Always let your brushes dry naturally overnight. In my former life, I dabbled in make up so I have amassed quite a few brushes.

I bought my motherload, a complete set of Nars brushes, for a steal on ebay *please purchase with caution, many counterfeits are out there*

My daily use brushes are my beloved Chanel shadow brushes I purchased using gift cards from Sephora back when they carried Chanel. Now you can find them at Nordstrom or high end department stores. I also have a few MAC brushes that work wonders. Since I’m a product junkie, I have to mention my blush, or as Antz calls it, my clown paint, it’s called Amour by Nars. I usually swear by Orgasm *just like my bestie* but this has a more pink tone that I love compared to the peachy tone of Orgasm. I made this video of my new spring pieces on my Vine. My new Seychelles heels are ridiculous. Antz measured me and I am 6’2″ in them *GIANT!* I love them and can’t wait to wear them to my birthday party.

I have been following Babiekins on Instagram for awhile now but I haven’t been able to find an issue at any magazine stands or Barnes & Noble stores. I got a complimentary issue at the babyGap event and Liv got to make a crafty bracelet. We had a lovely time.

I couldn’t make up my mind of which polka dot shoes to get. After consulting Aimee, I went with the oxfords because they are super comfy and the skimmers showed too much toe cleavage for my taste.

Yay, I can finally wear shoe clips on these guys!
Happy dotty feet

There was a few events going on at the Grove. There was a long line of folks trying on Banana Republic clothes for this Mad Men promo.

Of course I had to pop into Anthropologie but I am waiting until my birthday to buy any pretty things for our kitchen so I can use my 15% birthday discount.

So pretty!!

Those owls were calling my name
I really would love to color code our dishware like this

There was a huge crowd of folks waiting for Mark Wahlberg and Diddy to show up for Extra but we left before they arrived. Lame, I’m not a fan of that show.


I gave the editor of Babiekins Liv’s comp card while she was raving about how gorgeous she is. I hope I hear from her because having Liv featured in this magazine would be rad. They carry my three favorite kid’s designers Misha Lulu, Bobo Choses and Tutu de Monde. I’m looking forward to their spring issue that will be available at Target. Wouldn’t Liv be a great feature as a Lil’ Stylekin?

I love this photo of Olivia

Lizzie’s Guide to a Rad Toddler

It’s been awhile since I posted a guide. Now that Liv is an official toddler, it’s a good time to share my must-haves for any soon to be parents of a non-stop talking, hyper ball of never-ending energy, not quite fully potty training toddlers. So here it is.

As I said before. Nothing beats the quality and style of Oeuf Classic furniture set. There will come a time when your little bitty bebe will begin to pull themselves up in their crib. First you will spazz out because you can’t believe they are already trying to stand. Then you will panic because your crib suddenly becomes a death trap and you worry your bebe will bump their precious head on the crib. I would observe Olivia trying to crawl her long legs over the side of her crib attempting to escape with my heart in my throat. She never made it over but she would come dangerously close. Last February, it was finally time for the crib to convert to a toddler bed.

We love her toddler bed. It’s aesthetically pleasing and keeps her from rolling out. Comfy for Liv and plenty of room for all her pals.

So when is it potty time? It depends on your kid. While we were at the hotel in San Diego for Liv’s first birthday, she wandered in the bathroom and told us she had to go potty and we helped her out of her diaper and she did her business. From then on, she was using her potty pretty regularly. It helped she started so soon since her preschool requires they are potty trained. So far, so good. She had one accident on her first day of school but no more since. Her school has bathrooms in every classroom with toddler sized amenities. At home we use the Boon potty/step bench.

Potty Bench Training Toilet with Side Storage

Liv is happy with it and it’s much easier to clean than I anticipated. I use bleach spray for #2s *sorry, gross*. I no longer stock it with toilet paper after Liv emptied the entire roll more than once. This is an item that may require more trial and error. Some kids use the toilet seat attachment which is great for traveling but Liv prefers to sit on her own potty. It’s served us well but I may have to buy a seat attachment for when we are out and about. Although how do parents carry this guy, I wonder? I have heard of a foldable one. So far I just hold her up over the toilet when we are must use a public restroom. I stopped carrying a diaper bag for a long time now so I am back to a smaller purse. Seems pretty bulky to tote around.

My next must have is the infamous sippy cup. I have tested quite a few and I found this guy to be our favorite. It doesn’t leak, easy to clean and Liv can hold it easy peasy. I bought mine at Whole Foods.

The Safe Sippy Cup

Of course Liv’s first sippy cup was a novelty personalized cup.

Totally impractical, only holds like 3 ounces and tough to clean. This is the most important element to consider when buying a cup. Liquids like milk and orange juice are absolutely rank if you don’t rinse them immediately. I still have to remind Antz certain cups like Liv’s dinosaurs are water only because they are hard to clean the built in straw even with these guys.

I’m no expert in this field, we still use a plethora of different sippy cups and also regular kid cups. Liv was about 15 months when she started using her Brobee cup, but 16 months before she could drink with without spilling.

P.S. Anything cute with a character on it will fade from millions of washings. There is no Brobee left on her cup. Soap will eat everything kid-related.

Speaking of eats, your dryer will eat all your kids socks. No use tying them together or paper clips won’t save them. I’ve tried binder clips and only ended up burning myself when taking them out of the dryer. Bite the bullet and buy socks in bulk, and deal with the fact that you will lose 2 out of 3 of them. Liv rocks these and now only has orange, red, and black left. I think one green sock is in the backseat of Antz car.

Peewee Girl (0-12 M)

So while we’re discussing footwear, here’s my faves for the wee feet.

See Kai Run. One of the best brands for little growing *faster than I can afford* feet. One of the most important factors for me in shoes is how easy are they to put on and take off *those with toddlers know how traumatizing putting shoes on can be* Liv can put these on unassisted and they don’t get that dirty. Ugh, I can’t stand dirty shoes on kids, it totally grosses me out. I just bought these cute pair for Liv but I bought one size larger so she probably won’t wear them till next year.

Similar to See Kai Run is Livie & Luca. They are rad! I get the most compliments on these guys *and that skirt too*.

Pio Pio in brown

I would buy more of these shoes but their website is always sold out of her size. I was lucky to find this pair on sale at Kumquat *one of my fave shops* They are pricey but I don’t do cheap shoes. I think growing feet need the right support and comfort.

So you want affordable, adorable and charitable? Toms are your best bet. If Liv’s feet didn’t grow so fast, I’d buy a pair in every color. I get sad with every pair she outgrows. These are so versatile, I’m buying the same color once she outgrows this pair.

Lastly, I adore Saltwater sandals. They are a must have if you have a daughter *I have a pair for myself*. Liv is on her 3rd pair but they are sooo worth it. They are her “dress shoes” and the tan color has worked well as a neutral shade. Sadly, they didn’t have Liv’s size in tan so this time I got red which I think will be lovely. I love how they fit and can be dressy or casual. Can you believe she has gone up 2 shoe sizes since her birthday?

I’ll post another guide for holiday toys and goodies soon. Did I mention I’m heading the craft committee for Liv’s preschool Winter Solstice? I plan on making these pom pom ornaments. I love her school so much!

<a href="http://www.pompomemporium.com/files/imagecache/lightbox_image/images/CIMG3738.jpg&quot; rel="lightbox[field_title_image][pom pom peg dolls

View Image Details]” style=”margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;”>pom pom peg dolls

Nightys!

My guide to Love & Marriage

One Month!

August 18, 2002

That’s right, exactly one month until our 10 year wedding anniversary. I am at a complete loss of plans to celebrate such a milestone. I mean, we’ve been together for 16 years total and we’ve been in this house for 6 years, parents for 2 years…okay enough math. It’s been a fabulous time. We have traveled, been to amazing concerts, been on a game show together, we pretty much have grown up together.

I had one bite of our wedding cake, too excited to eat at the reception and the slices the staff packed for us for the next day were devoured by ants! Note to anyone getting married…EAT AT YOUR WEDDING! You pay a fortune for that meal, eat it and savor every bite.

Ten years of marriage isn’t a piece of cake although most days feels cakier than others. We still have dumb spats, I huff and puff and fold my arms when I’m having a brat-attack and he rolls his eyes at my wild schemes, but I still get butterflies in my stomach when that boy kisses me. You know how I knew I would marry Anthony? On our first date, we both brought friends as backup *cause that’s how I rolled when I was 19* our first kiss was pretty awkward since we were leaving a packed movie theater at Universal Citywalk and our friends were standing right there. Antz kissed me so sweetly and gently like no one else was there. It was so lovely, I literally swooned. My gut was screaming at me, this guy is THE ONE! We’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since. So how do you not get bored or drive each other crazy?…hmmm, we do! All the time, but we have 3 things going in our favor that make it work.

1. We talk about our feelings. This is crucial to making any relationship work. I am a huge talker *aka Major Chatterbox* Antz, not so much, but being able to discuss our feelings and leave out the expectations takes a lot of guess work out of our marriage. I used to think to myself, I wish he would just….but then I realized, he’s not a psychic. Why wouldn’t I just tell him what I wanted rather than just expect him to magically know what I want. I was pretty much sabotaging our relationship because I didn’t communicate. Now we talk it out, our feelings, our dreams, our annoyances, nothing is off-limits. I have a clear understanding of his wishes and I know when I need to improve my ‘tude. I think our communication brings us closer, we don’t keep secrets and we’re honest with one another. Pretty simple, right. Well here’s the tricky part, a huge component to the communication thing involves listening. Oh yeah, it’s easy to blah, blah, blah… but to really listen to your partner and let them know you hear them and understand is the key.

2. Don’t be too cool to be a dork. Antz and I are super immature *most of the time*. We have a pact to always be silly, approach life with a sense of humor and never act our age. We laugh so hard we cry. We make fun of each other in a playful way. We say to each other, it must be such a bummer to have to be an adult all the time. We don’t take each other too serious and we have each other’s back. We have no problem geeking out at Disneyland or busting out the robot on the dancefloor. In the the immortal words of the Joker “Why so serious?


3. We are compatible. I know Paula Abdul & MC Skat Kat say opposites attract but oil and water will never mix. Try to find someone you would be very good friends with outside of your relationship. Why make things difficult by trying to convert someone into the person you want them to be? I love Antz because he’s true to himself. He’s a talented, crazy awesome artist. I grew up with my artist Mommy *she’s a crazy talented musician* so I’m used to being around creative people. He’s not a huge sports fan so I don’t have to bitch and moan about how lame sports are. He’s totally down with my Björk obsession and goes along with all my absurd ideas. He both hate onions and douchebags and share a love of people-watching and Jeopardy. I never understand why people get married quickly and then discover, “WAIT! We have absolutely nothing in common!Duh! There’s a good reason we dated for 6 years before getting engaged. We needed to get to know each other, figure out our idiosyncrasies. I know some folks have lasting, solid marriages after months of dating *looking at you Khloe Kardashian* but most folks aren’t so lucky . Find out if you love the person you want to spend you old folks days with, even with their flaws *Antz loves air-conditioning and I’m always freezing to death* It does take compromise but the entire relationship shouldn’t be about compromising who you are. If you can’t be around your guy without makeup on and he’s afraid to fart around you…uh, that’s lame.

Being married to Antz has been extraordinary. We have fun everyday. We trust each other 100% and to me, that is love. I gave him my heart on August 18th and he has protected it for 10 years. As much as I complain about not going to Hawaii for our anniversary, we could go to Taco Bell and still have an incredible time. So don’t be surprised if we toast our big day in the drive-thru, Hawaii isn’t going anywhere and Liv’s tuition is more important to us.

A million years ago in 1997